Monday, October 17, 2011

Guess the twat

People who read my contribution to this news channel last week (aMToNW) may have been given the impression that I was lending some support to Liam Fox and his unsavoury Dickensian friend in their current troubled situation. Allow me to clarify.

I am glad to see the back of the odious little tit. What a shame that all of his friends didn’t resign with him. As the Minister of Defence, he takes some of the blame for our involvement in the currently obscene and ineffective military campaigns in Asia. It would have been more appropriate for him to have been sacked for that rather than the rather puzzling series of events that led to his ‘resignation’.

(A few years ago a UK charity sponsored a “Take your dog to work” day. I telephoned an acquaintance employed by said charity, purporting to be Jacques Costeau, and berated him in my finest French accent about how silly my dog looked in snorkel and flippers, and concluded with “ze fucker ‘as drowned”. )

Young Liam thought it was appropriate to take his friend to work. Never mind the security implications, or the fact that anyone dumb enough to befriend loony Liam was going to be neither use nor ornament.

Trying to get in on the act, entering stage right, we have good old Ollie Letwin, who didn’t want to dirty the nice shiny wastepaper basket that slimy Dave had given him, so took his rubbish (official papers) out to the local park to dispose of. Picture, if you will a government minister, sitting on the banks of the Serpentine fashioning paper boats out of Top Secret documents, and then wetting himself with excitement to see which one won the race.

Now that we have dealt with those two minor loonies, can we please focus attention on the prize assholes who really need to be taken out and shot. (pls fill in the usual suspects – Gove, Lansley, Willetts, you know).

Finally, can I say how tired I am of hearing Tory politicians (yes, I know I do not need to qualify this) suffixing all of their slimy utterances with the phrase “the mess Labour left behind”. The biggest mess that Labour left behind was, and let us be clear that this is due to their woeful incompetence, a population so despairing that they voted for the current shower of shit that occupies the government benches in the commons. I am in no hurry to see (or hear) Milliband at the despatch box, nor will I ever lend my support to the lily-livered-Libdems until they apologise for supporting the current cabinet by crawling on their stomachs for 30 days through sewage and broken glass. My view is that Labour is tory-lite, and will only slow the destruction of this country due to incompetence and lack of the kind of ruthlessness shown by slimy Dave.

Bring on the revolution.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Let tolerance be our watchword

Liam Fox is being hounded by the press because he has a friend. Unusual as that is for a Tory, surely we should be congratulating him on his endeavours: he has shown ingenuity. If it transpires that he has been using the services of a website - “BefriendaTory” or some such – then I, for one, will not judge him on that.

As a treehugging, pinko, commie faggot, I firmly believe that it is possible to integrate Conservatives into our society by showing love and compassion. Just look at my record in attempting to help dear Boris become human. There are, no doubt, those out there who believe that the best remedy for our current problems is to take the current cabinet and burn them at the stake. Well, the “Disembowel Dave” movement will find no favour here. Well, maybe a bit.

I am grateful we do not live in an authoritarian regime where people who make poor decisions in their social lives are not immediately put in high security institutions. As such, Adam Werrity should be cared for rather than condemned.

Mr Werrity (even the name sounds Dickensian) should be allowed his social liberties. If it turns out that he cannot count to seven or remember the words to Humpty Dumpty as we all suspect, then attempts should be made to educate him.