Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I don't remember eating that

For those of you inclined to criticise the scientific community for lack of purposeful research let me point out that their latest idea is a literal goldmine.
My friends at the BBC News report:

Gold in faeces 'worth millions'


Highlights of their report include:


US researchers are investigating ways to extract the gold and precious metals from human faeces.

 

The good news is that they will wait for it to be excreted.

Extracting metals from the waste could also help curb the release of toxic substances into the environment.
In addition to gold and silver, human waste also contains amounts of rare earth metals such as palladium and vanadium.
The scientists are experimenting with some of the same chemicals, called leachates, which industrial mining operations use to pull metals out of rock.
While some of these leachates have a bad reputation for damaging ecosystems when they leak or spill into the environment … in a controlled setting - they could safely be used to recover metals in treated solid waste.

In a previous study, another team of scientists calculated that the waste from one million Americans could contain as much as $13m (£8.6m) worth of metals.

Yes, we can solve so many problems at once; find useful employment for the indolent masses, finance the entire waste recycling industry. The most prolific producers could be identified and paid a bonus for extra output. Who says capitalism doesn’t work? And never mind this nonsense about the dangers of leachates – we should all by now have full confidence in the corporate world to make safety and care for the environment the priorities.



7 comments:

Rose Blackthorn said...

Wow. Turning shit into gold, the alchemists would be proud.

Dave said...

Is this $13m per day, week, year, lifetime of the million Americans? Without this detail one cannot quantify the cost/benefit outcome.

m_still said...

Why not? We've been turning gold into shit for a while now ...

Pearl said...

Thar's gold in them thar bowls!

Pearl

Indigo Roth said...

As someone far wiser and northern than myself once noted, "where there's muck, there's brass". How right he was.

Z said...

I'm an indolent mass, but I still don't remember eating gold, nor palladium or vanadium. At least I have a septic tank (in the garden, not attached to me) so it may not be too hard to extract.

Vicus Scurra said...

I'll send a man round.