The BBC carries an article (tl;dr) entitled "Katie Mack: 'Knowing how the universe will end is freeing'"
The essence of it is that no-one knows how and when the universe will end, but posits that it would be a good thing if we did know.
What it fails to address are the really important issues such as:
1) If the universe ends during an Ashes series, how will it be decided which country should be considered the winner. Does the Duckworth Lewis calculation extend to include the end of existence?
2) What happens to unredeemed Nectar points?
3) Is insurance for white goods covered by this event?
4) If the Hindus have got it right - I have no reason to doubt them, other than the anecdotal evidence of knowing some who are very dodgy indeed - then the universe will be created the next day by Brahma. Will we be afforded accommodation while all this nonsense is going on? I have no objection to a temporary sojourn in a cosmic Premier Inn, provided that there is ample vegetarian/vegan food and that I don't have some noisy buggers in the room above (bloody Hindus celebrating the new Day of Brahma most likely).
5) If we are still in lockdown, will there be some warning, so that I don't have to bother to get up early on the Wednesday of that week to go shopping in Sainsbury's with all of the other doddery old twats?
1 comment:
If the universe ends, and someone out there claims to know how that's going to happen - and claims that it's a relief, then basically fuck that twat waffle. I mean bite me. Go light a lucifer match off a marshmallow. I've been reading Sumerian mythology and I call bullshit.
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