Thursday, August 25, 2011

Henry V Part III


Regular readers  (come on, you’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?) will be delighted to discover that my muse, far from having died, has just been on a rather lengthy summer break, and is now back, keen to tackle the major news stories of the day.

So invigorated am I by her return, and also inspired by the wise decision to remake “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” as a moving picture performance, that I plan to embark on number of projects to improve the intellectual and cultural climate.

There are some stuffed shirts who would opine that to tamper with what they see as perfection in the Alec Guinness portrayal of George Smiley. “Rubbish!” I say, the arts are fuelled by innovation and are constantly improving. Who among you would not prefer to listen to Jedward rather than have to endure the tedium of Bach or Handel? The new “Tinker” adaptation will feature Arnold Schwarzenegger as Smiley, Max Boyce as Control, Vin Diesel as Esterhazy, Roseanne Barr as Ann Smiley and Amitabh Bachchan as Bill Haydon.  This is the way le Carr√© planned it.

I have written to the Pope, offering to freshen up the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel. I understand that magnolia is very much in vogue, and might brighten it up here and there with a strategically placed poster on a religious theme – Cliff, perhaps.

I am working on enhancing the Kreutzer sonata by scoring parts for percussion, bassoon, didgeridoo and voice (I need hardly tell you that I am thinking of Madonna for the first performance).

My update of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner will be in blank verse, (so it won’t be a rime at all), and will follow the more relevant story related by the Mariner (now completely land-based – I am thinking of his telling the tale of his journey from Yeovil to Halifax, avoiding all the motorways) in which he actually rescues endangered species. No albatross will be harmed in my version, oh no!

I may write more about my other current project “Oh, here’s Godot now!” when I have added a little more structure and moulded the characters’ personalities.

13 comments:

Christopher said...

Please do nothing until you have received from me the book and full choreography of 'Cheerio, Godot' and have fully digested this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbEfdiY-7eE

Dave said...

I am please you have taken up the torch of blogging again. I can drop my burden and go away on holiday knowing the world of literature is in safe hands.

frontiereditor said...

I suppose that 'Blackadder Infiltrates Russia House and Scores With Michelle Pfeiffer, You Git' is out of the question?

Geoff said...

I preferred the version with Sid James as Smiley. One of the le Carré on series.

Scarlet Blue said...

Have you got anything for Kerry Katona? Could she be George Smiley?
Amy Childs would like to play the Duchess of Cambridge in the next Royal drama - can you fix this?
Sx

Vicus Scurra said...

Christopher. Doing nothing is always my favoured option.
Dave. Please dispose of your burden in an environmentally friendly way.
Mike. Yes.
Geoff. Very droll. I knew that I could rely on you.
SB. I know nothing of these people.

Dave said...

Because of that final comment, Vic, Scarlet is now accusing me of being you. Mind you, I have no idea who these people are, either.

Dave said...

Of course, Rog thinks that Scarlet and I are the same person, so this is all going to get very messy.

Scarlet Blue said...

Isn't it bonkers having to bounce between Facebook, Google+ and Blogger just to keep track of what everyone is saying?!
Sx

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, Scarlet you two are not married? Now I'm confused.

Dave said...

No Vic, I'm saving myself for you.

Zig said...

nothing's changed then?

Vicus Scurra said...

What do you mean "Nothing's changed"? The whole universe is in a perpetual state of change, you don't even have to believe in the preposterous theory of the second law of thermodynamics to understand that. Everything changes, always.