Regular
readers (come on, you’ve been waiting
for this, haven’t you?) will be delighted to discover that my muse, far from
having died, has just been on a rather lengthy summer break, and is now back,
keen to tackle the major news stories of the day.
So
invigorated am I by her return, and also inspired by the wise decision to
remake “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” as a moving picture performance, that I
plan to embark on number of projects to improve the intellectual and cultural
climate.
There
are some stuffed shirts who would opine that to tamper with what they see as
perfection in the Alec Guinness portrayal of George Smiley. “Rubbish!” I say,
the arts are fuelled by innovation and are constantly improving. Who among you
would not prefer to listen to Jedward rather than have to endure the tedium of
Bach or Handel? The new “Tinker” adaptation will feature Arnold Schwarzenegger
as Smiley, Max Boyce as Control, Vin Diesel as Esterhazy, Roseanne Barr as Ann
Smiley and Amitabh Bachchan as Bill Haydon.
This is the way le Carré planned it.
I
have written to the Pope, offering to freshen up the ceiling in the Sistine
Chapel. I understand that magnolia is very much in vogue, and might brighten it
up here and there with a strategically placed poster on a religious theme –
Cliff, perhaps.
I
am working on enhancing the Kreutzer sonata by scoring parts for percussion,
bassoon, didgeridoo and voice (I need hardly tell you that I am thinking of
Madonna for the first performance).
My
update of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner will be in blank verse, (so it won’t
be a rime at all), and will follow the more relevant story related by the Mariner
(now completely land-based – I am thinking of his telling the tale of his
journey from Yeovil to Halifax, avoiding all the motorways) in which he
actually rescues endangered species. No albatross will be harmed in my version,
oh no!
I
may write more about my other current project “Oh, here’s Godot now!” when I
have added a little more structure and moulded the characters’ personalities.
13 comments:
Please do nothing until you have received from me the book and full choreography of 'Cheerio, Godot' and have fully digested this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbEfdiY-7eE
I am please you have taken up the torch of blogging again. I can drop my burden and go away on holiday knowing the world of literature is in safe hands.
I suppose that 'Blackadder Infiltrates Russia House and Scores With Michelle Pfeiffer, You Git' is out of the question?
I preferred the version with Sid James as Smiley. One of the le Carré on series.
Have you got anything for Kerry Katona? Could she be George Smiley?
Amy Childs would like to play the Duchess of Cambridge in the next Royal drama - can you fix this?
Sx
Christopher. Doing nothing is always my favoured option.
Dave. Please dispose of your burden in an environmentally friendly way.
Mike. Yes.
Geoff. Very droll. I knew that I could rely on you.
SB. I know nothing of these people.
Because of that final comment, Vic, Scarlet is now accusing me of being you. Mind you, I have no idea who these people are, either.
Of course, Rog thinks that Scarlet and I are the same person, so this is all going to get very messy.
Isn't it bonkers having to bounce between Facebook, Google+ and Blogger just to keep track of what everyone is saying?!
Sx
Dave, Scarlet you two are not married? Now I'm confused.
No Vic, I'm saving myself for you.
nothing's changed then?
What do you mean "Nothing's changed"? The whole universe is in a perpetual state of change, you don't even have to believe in the preposterous theory of the second law of thermodynamics to understand that. Everything changes, always.
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