Monday, October 10, 2011

Let tolerance be our watchword

Liam Fox is being hounded by the press because he has a friend. Unusual as that is for a Tory, surely we should be congratulating him on his endeavours: he has shown ingenuity. If it transpires that he has been using the services of a website - “BefriendaTory” or some such – then I, for one, will not judge him on that.

As a treehugging, pinko, commie faggot, I firmly believe that it is possible to integrate Conservatives into our society by showing love and compassion. Just look at my record in attempting to help dear Boris become human. There are, no doubt, those out there who believe that the best remedy for our current problems is to take the current cabinet and burn them at the stake. Well, the “Disembowel Dave” movement will find no favour here. Well, maybe a bit.

I am grateful we do not live in an authoritarian regime where people who make poor decisions in their social lives are not immediately put in high security institutions. As such, Adam Werrity should be cared for rather than condemned.

Mr Werrity (even the name sounds Dickensian) should be allowed his social liberties. If it turns out that he cannot count to seven or remember the words to Humpty Dumpty as we all suspect, then attempts should be made to educate him.


Vicus Scurra said...

Of course, you could read the latest article from the mayor of London - number 2,348 in the series "If business men like it then we should do it regardless of whether it results in misery for 99.9993% of the population and fucks up the planet", in the Torygraph, then you could be forgiven for wanting to torture the thick fucker.

Dave said...

Do you think that one day an authoritarian regime might judge us on those we call 'friends' on Facebook?

Richard said...

I can re-educate him. With a pointy stick.

Pearl said...

Let me know if you come up with a plan. As a tree-hugging, PETA-friendly, pull-up-your-pants-you-ridiculous-youth-YOU, middle-aged American I have a number of people -- and this is just off the top of my head, you understand -- we could enroll.


Vicus Scurra said...

Quite possibly, Dave. Are you thinking of St Peter? You can possibly avoid that one by slipping him a couple of quid and telling him your friendship was based on charity.
Richard. Up the backside, I trust.

Vicus Scurra said...

Pearl. Please. Send the list.