Thursday, February 16, 2012

Whither Hadrian?

Slimy Dave, first lord of the Treasury and minister for epidermal secretions, is all over the media campaigning for the maintenance of the British union. Never have I felt so drawn to the nationalist cause. My advice to any area seeking to secede from his evil empire is to split, and run as fast as buggery in order to get away.

I intend to undertake a feasibility study to see whether North East Hampshire could be self-sufficient. I don’t see why not, what with the receipts from Bird World and the royalties from that dozy tart Austen’s soap operas.

You would have to be as thick as a Gove to want to hang around and put your affairs in the hands of Dave and his noxious cohorts.

Even at this distance I can hear the sound of Falkland Islanders scribbling their Argentinian passport applications. The inhabitants of the Isle of Wight are planning an event wherein they will all run to the south end of the island to see whether they can create a larger gap between them and the mainland.

It all seems like so much effort. Can’t we just get rid of the government, send them to Syria for example, and then we can all live nicely in harmony and peace.


Donn Escapeons said...

Canada could easily be divided into the West/East/Quebec & Maritimes...probably every country on earth could contract all the way down to clans that control a few city blocks...just as all of the end-of-the-world sci-fi novels predict.

The ruling elite from every country should be gathered up and banished to one isolated place. Then they can all enjoy the company of their peers and see how they like being told how to live. It wouldn't take long for it to turn into Lord Of The Flies.

Scarlet Blue said...

Shall we do it, Donn???? Sounds like a most excellent plan. Who's going to set up the Facebook page??

Rol said...

You should move to Yorkshire. Being "God's Own County", we have always existed as a separate principality to the rest of the UK. That's why Dave and his cronies refuse to spend any of their riches on our blessed region. Not that we'd take his evil blood money, anyway.

Geoff said...

Will Boris Island be independent?

Martin said...

A feasibility study in the west of the county would be a waste of time. The fabric hereabouts is 'proofed', and already oozing with Dave.