Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Banker's Bonus

A few considered reflections on the plight of Fred Goodwin.

Fred has been forced by the queen to change his name. This has caused large numbers of people to get agitated and take to the media with their protestations. Apparently it sends the wrong message to the business community. From my perspective, and do tell me if I am incorrect, it simply means that he can save some money on ink when he signs his name.

I mean, it is not as though the swivel-eyed, fornicating, despicable, loathsome, vile and disgusting pile of gibbon ordure had been public flogged, is it? It is not as though there had been some fitting punishment handed out to him, like having to work until he had earned enough money to pay back all the cash that he lost, and then going on national television and admitting to being a leading contender for arsehole of the last decade, is it?

The bastard.

The honours system is only there to nourish the already overblown egos of self-important narcissists anyway. All of these silly buggers with letters before, after and in the sodding middles of their names. I can’t wait for the revolution.

Goodwin? Take him round to the dwellings of all of those who lost their jobs, houses and pensions as a result of his incompetence, and see whether they will accept his explanations and apologies.

Wrong message to the business community? "Fuck you all" is my message to the business community.

Thank you for listening.


Pamela said...

Don't you mean thank you for reading?

Vicus Scurra said...


Pearl said...

I had to look up ol' Fred, and there he was, the smiling face of the Royal Bank of Scotland.

One of my company's clients.

It's a small but smelly world.


p.s. And oh, yes. I like your idea of him being forced to go to people's houses to apologize.

And if he could do it while wearing a shirt made primarily of goat dung and with a court-ordered open sore on his forehead, I think that would be fitting as well.

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you Pearl. Pls to send the goat dung.

Z said...

Was 'thank you for listening' a part quote from John Ebdon? I do hope so.

My father and grandfather were entitled to a hereditary title. On consideration, they thought it was all a bit silly and didn't claim it. I'd let the whole thing quietly die out, myself. Mind you, it has in my family anyway because I'm only a female.

Scarlet Blue said...

They should have forced him to change his name to Moochild Venus Goodwin.

Scarlet Blue said...

..of course, if Mrs Pouncer was commenting here she would have some hideous predictive text mishap and simply call him an Aunt.
And if she was me, she would also be bemoaning that fact that you haven't blogrolled me. And then she would get in a right two and eight, have a bit of a huff, wish you good day and slam the door as she left.
But I am me, so I will just sulk in the corner.

Vicus Scurra said...

Z. You are indeed without peer.
Scarlet. Little miss needy.

Tim said...

He's a social pariah. He can't show his face down the shopping mall without being spat on. Even if he goes for a stroll across the Forth bridge someone'll try to elbow him off. He can't spend any of his money because no self-respecting shop would take the risk of accepting it. Hasn't he been punished enough??