Unrealtors

Someone has been using my email address again. This time I find I am on the mailing list of some estate agents from Lexington, North Carolina.


Here is my reply:


Thank you for that, I am touched by your kindness.

Lexington certainly seems like a funky place to dwell.

My first concern about moving there is my commute time to work. Google maps won't give me directions, but one website indicates that the distance is just over 3900 miles. What time do you think I would have to leave my new home in the morning in order to reach work by 9:00 a.m. (British Summer Time)? Are there any direct buses. Unless Mr Liddle, (my geography teacher in case you didn't know) was lying to me, I believe that in between the two locations there is something called the Atlantic Ocean, the most notable characteristic of which is the dampness. Are the buses of the Lexington public transport system fully amphibious? Do they have a good wifi connection? 

Of Lexington itself, I know little. I have friends in North Carolina, however. Dear Mountaine is currently building a new house there, so it must have some good qualities, and my young friend Adam likes it so much that he has taken a job in Alaska. Perhaps I can enter into a carpool arrangement with him.

You mention in your nice message that "there are real human beings" behind the website. You may have meant this to be reassuring, but I confess to being mildly disquieted. I infer that there may be some human beings in the vicinity who are not real, and can only guess as to what this might mean. Are these beings benign or dangerous in your view? Is there an easy way to discriminate? I am beginning to think that whoever used my email address to sign up to your mailing list may have been more than a little rash. If you find out who it was, please advise them to stay where they are. I will think over the whole project and get back to you.

love and peace