Blows against the Empire

I have written to the Daily Telegraph. They never publish my letters, so you will have to read it. 

My dear sir

I was delighted to read recently that you planned to introduce a subscription scheme for your on-line offerings.

I wish you great success in this venture. Please let me know when it will be introduced. 

I have enjoyed your sports coverage over the years, and have taken advantage from time to time of being able to keep abreast of current thinking in the narrow-minded nonagenarian class. 

I have to confess that, of late, I find myself increasingly less able to tolerate not only the content - the latest gibberish emanating from our lamentable government - but also the despicable bias with which you present it.

I frequently find myself regretting starting or ending the day by digesting your miserable outpourings, and you would be doing me the greatest favour by charging me for this service. Even tuppence a week would be sufficient incentive to prevent my viewing your product and thereby risking disturbing my equilibrium.

yours in fondness

love and peace

Scurra