No, still nothing to write about here.

Concerned for the health and wellbeing of my readers, due to a recent lack of material here, I scan the competition, to see whether they are in danger of finding nothing to write about.

I am cheered that the online Torygraph has an article that begins with the heading: “Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics on his consuming passion for his G4 laptop”, and I immediately realise that all is well. I may be responsible for writing some total crap from time to time (pause for readers to shout out in disagreement), but there are very many unpleasant corners of human existence in which I will not be found. The only thing that intrigues me about the article mentioned above, is whether there is anyone – living, dead or Conservative – who is so bollock-numbingly bored as to contemplate reading it.

In the Independent, someone has written a 578 word article on vodka tonic. I suspect also that someone paid them to do it.

So, let us not get too despondent about Caroline, Watski and Toasty deciding to abandon their web journals, nor about Tom failing to find a new title this week. Those of us left can take some comfort from being further from the bottom of the barrel than our professional colleagues.