Friday, November 14, 2008

Pinup of the week

It was a delight and an education to see the lovely Graham Rowntree being interviewed on the Rugby Club this week.

Seeing him speak often reminds me of the Village Idiot sketch from Python. One expects that he will sound like a punch drunk boxer rather than an articulate and intelligent commentator. When asked whether the next (England) game was likely to see a shift in emphasis from the back 3 to the front 3, he opined that all games should be that way, and, indeed, the game would be much better if you got rid of the backs and the referee.

I trust that all of this is not making those of you unfortunate enough to live in the colonies sad, that is not the intention. You must remember that your countries are still young, and you must be patient in your wait for culture.


This is so much more edifying than the fare presented by soccer pundits. It may be the beautiful game, but there is no one around who can describe it fluently. Mangled English pronounced as if by Arthur Daley. “He done good”. “He has ran”. “He ran quick”. Morons. You can say what you like about equestrian sport – brain dead throwbacks twatting around like the man I’m aunt to, they should all be taken out and shot for the sake of the gene pool and so on – but the commentators speak so nicely. You can say that the monarchy is representative of fascist oppression and peopled by those without the wit to do up their own buttons, but at least when they are unveiling a statue of the 16th Mayor of Margate, they speak distinctly and accurately. You can, if that is your preference, call Gyles Brandreth a totally vacuous, unfunny Tory tosser whose is so far up his own arse that he has two heads, but he does speak very clearly and correctly. If I were the England soccer manager, I would play Brian Sewell at centre forward.

13 comments:

I, like the view said...

so eloquently put; one might be mistaken for thinking that you, dear vicus, are a commentator yourself. . .

Dave said...

I don't watch association football myself, but I take your point. Hurrah for articulacy.

Vicus Scurra said...

ILTV. You might be mistaken, but I seldom am.
Dave. And yet you have a comprehensive knowledge of fringe players for south London teams. You are a constant source of wonderment.

Dave said...

Mr Google gave me the answer, as you might have guessed, including telling me first who the team actually was, from your clue.

I imagine the manager of said south London team is waiting on tenterhooks for transfer offers, having had two hits on his website yesterday (Richard and I) looking through his team list. That's probably more hits than they've had all season.

Can Bass 1 said...

My dear sir! Sir! A kindred spirit, at last. Someone who appreciates the delicate candences of Her Majesty the Queen's English. And Brian Sewell, too. My hero. (Sewell, that is, not you old bean. Not yet, anyway>)

KAZ said...

Oh I do hope Brian Sewell isn't a Tory.

Geoff said...

Rugby is a game for thugs played by gentlemen.

Football is a game for gentlemen played by thugs.

American football is a game for intellectuals played by Americans.

I, like the view said...

(I'm so tempted to write something along the lines of "cricket is a game. . .", possibly then including the words "green", "village" and "idiots"; but I won't as I'm somewhat underqualified in this area and would probably get it wrong and offend someone)

garfer said...

The Brazilians used to have a player called Socrates, who I believe held dialectical debates with the other players at half time.

Bhudda would have been good as a goalie, being plump and that.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. You have got it slightly wrong: I have been trying to sell you to Leyton Orient.
Can bass 1. Welcome. You seem to be exactly the sort of deranged individual that populates this corner of the electric internet.
Kaz. I think that he catches the other bus, so whatever designs you have on his body are probably doomed to be unhappy.
Geoff. Rugby is a town in Warwickshire.
ILTV. How many times, sweety? Underqualification is no bar to voicing an opinion here.
Garfer. Your erudition is a joy to behold.

Kindness said...

LOLwut?

We must meet in person to clarify your points.

My word verification is: nowsired.

Tell me the meaning wise heart?

OK... nevermind... Ignore me

Mr Coppens said...

Oid loik ta see two bricks being smashed t'gether!

realdoc said...

Being married to a (slightly) cauliflower-eared gentleman I am not as repelled as I should be.