Monday, June 15, 2009

Palmed off with relish

I was pleased to discover a message in my Thunderbird folder this morning from a dear old friend (a Mr Trellis of North Epsom). He informs me, among many such interesting items, that his daughter is studying English at university and is partially financing this by working in a hairdressing establishment. (Keats and Cuts? Byron’s Bouffants? Our Mutual Fringe?)

Of course, this combination is nothing new, I always enjoy a debate about English prose or verse when I wend my way to the barber’s shop to have my coiffure attended to.

The last few visits have been entirely been taken up with the works of John Donne. We discussed the combination of religious and secular themes in his work, his use of metaphor, how he compared with, say, Ben Jonson, (pause for inevitable athletics joke). Indeed, on one occasion we spent such a long time discussing in what way the sun could be described as a “saucy pedantic wretch” that I had to wear a wig for two weeks afterwards. In the end we concluded that Donne was just a twat.

What do you discuss with your hair technician (no cruel quips about Dave having to have very short conversations (e.g. Great Norfolk Intellectuals) because he’s never in there for very long)?


Broomhilda said...

Having been cyber-less (due to some twat blowing up my computer), I had been increasingly worried that you may have met with foul-play of some sort. I'm happy to find that that is not the case.
I refuse to discuss anything with my hair stylist, I don't want to distract the poor old thing.

Dave said...

We mainly discuss the good old days, when Margaret brought peace and prosperity to all, the sun always shone, and great herds of Higgs Bison roamed the sweeping plains of Norfolk.

Rog said...

I normally say something like "Any Finkfor the weekend?"

Your curious title reminded me of the last time I was palmed off with relish after I'd pulled off into a Little Chef.

Donn Coppens said...

I wish that I had something to offer but the sad fact of the matter is that I have been trimming my own hair for several decades.

It's easy..2 Fingers high in the front, the rest of the top #7, descending to a #5 at the sides..then #3 at the bottom and #2 at the very tip. Once you get the hang of doing the back with a mirror it's off to the races.

It also helps to have experimented on the kids. I hope this helps.

MJ said...

Were you away having your merkin fashioned?

KAZ said...

In my tonsorial parlour we discuss where we are going for our holidays and whether we are saving up for Christmas.
Surprising really as my stylist is Beryl Bainbridge.

Anonymous said...


Vicus Scurra said...

Broomhilda. How we have missed you. Please let us know as soon as the curlers are out.
Dave. Your memory is prodigious.
Rog. I suspect that you may have missed the radio broadcast last evening from which I took the title, but I see you are a regular listener.
Donn, dear, of course it helps. How I wish I could reciprocate.
MJ. No.
Kaz. I done a lol. Thank you.
Dyna. Are you requesting? We have some here who fit into that category, but I doubt whether they are the kind that you want.

Boz said...

My stylist is bald as a bowling ball.

We talk about the weather.


Richard said...

My barber is a female lady type. She only charges a fiver so I asked her why she was giving it away so cheaply. I was wearing a dark shirt so the blood stain didn't notice too much.

tom909 said...

I do my own hair and I mainly talk to myself about how handsome I am, and how, in the ideal world I would be free to roam the plains of life etc etc but how actually it suits me better not to be free etc etc - actually it's the same conversation I have when I am not doing my hair.

I, Like The View said...

hair technician? I'm supposed to have one. . .

. . .so that's where I've been going wrong all these years!

thanks for the enlightenment, Vicus

Donn said...

What on Earth have you been doing for the last 10 days?