Thursday, August 06, 2009

Quite a mouthful

This morning, while perambulating along the highways of Hampshire and Surrey in my internal combustion engine powered vehicle, I beheld a van bearing the motto “B J Champion”.
I confess to being intrigued.
Those of you, (aMToNW), with a curiosity that lends itself to speculation about what constitutes a champion may ask: is proficiency measured by quality or quantity, or some combination of the two? Who judges, and how do they maintain objectivity?
These were not my immediate thoughts. My first concern was why someone would choose to advertise this achievement to all and sundry. I find myself strangely unable to empathise with this person. Perhaps they are contractually obliged to advertise their achievement in order to qualify for whatever prize comes their way. (Comes their way – geddit?). Are any of you in possession of prizes, certificates or testimonials detailing your proficiency in a matter that would normally remain private?
I did not imagine this. I found a website where customers congratulate the Champ on his erection.


Rog said...

There's a Fishmonger called Ivor Winner in Swaffham.

(There isn't really - I made it up)

Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, I thought that this might develop into a silly names thread.
In my family tree I have lots of Fannys. My favourite is "Fanny Wade".
OK. Everyone is allowed to mention a silly name, as long as they also comment on oral sex, but please don't speak with your mouth full.
Is that fair?

Dave said...

Strangely enough I have a serious answer to your question. Good taste though prevents me from publishing it.

That must be the first time anyone's ever said that here.

MJ said...

Silly names?

Oooo.. I’VE got one!

Gaye Males.

G Eagle Esq said...

Signor Scurra

Peut-estre je pense de trop au subject de cettes affaires

[cogito ergo sum]


Ist es möglich im Auto spazieren

[Is it ontologically possible to "perambulate" in a Car ?]

Je reste le vstre servant obedient und

L'Aigle Gris

Richard said...

I wouldn't know anyone with a certificate for that but I've come across a couple of the examiners.

Boom boom. Will that do?

Christopher Campbell-Howes said...

In my saintly innocence I searched throughout Dr Johnson's Dictionary of the English Language for 'BJ' but to no avail. After certain Grub Street enquiries, however, I am consequently led to wonder if your internal combustion engine powered vehicle is a PT Cruiser?

Vicus Scurra said...

Christopher. Please hold on to your innocence.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I find this story hard to swallow.

Rose Bush - a real name from my high school compadres.

zIggI said...

who'd want to champion Boris Johnson?