He has been researching into phobias, and has devised an injection that will cure people of phobias, including, no doubt, helping those folk who have a fear of needles.
You may be thinking that this is good news. Allow me to be the first to disabuse you of that misconception, by describing some of the research.
This centres on feeding lidocaine to goldfish.
“Early tests showed that goldfish given a dose of the drug lidocaine were unable to be scared.”
Bugger me! I never thought of that!
Old Masa (for it is he) decided to conduct an experiment in Pavlovian fashion (he performed “The Dying Swan” wearing diaphanous tights), by causing the poor goldfish to associate flashing lights with electric shocks, and demonstrated that they feared the lights even when there was no accompanying shock. He then administered said narcotic and broke the link.
We are then left with a bunch of drug addicted, epileptic, Japanese goldfish with third degree burns and totally lacking inbuilt danger warnings. If you see a very sorry looking member of the family Cyprinidae displaying bravado in the presence of a shark, you can feel justified in sending the bill for the funeral to Professor Yushida at the university of Hiroshima.
Would you welcome the recommendations of this man?
I look forward to his helping me to overcome my fear of one day being taken in by the absurd propositions of the scientific community.