Wednesday, March 09, 2011

And your homework for today is ....

This is public service posting. I am trying to limit the amount of smutty innuendo that is typically generated when a noteworthy news source broaches the subject of ‘thingy’.
The Torygraph, peace be upon it, this morning has an article about sex education in primary schools. This is a very serious subject, so let me clarify some of the points that they make to prevent an outbreak of sniggering and other generally immature behaviour. I will take the unintentionally ambiguous sections of the report in turn.


 “ … may be employing classroom materials that cover subjects such as orgasms and foreplay.”
‘Materials’ refers to printed, descriptive items. It does not mean any kind of object used to achieve orgasm. The British education system is founded upon the principles of children being denied any avenue of enjoyment, and has worked successfully on this premise for many years.


“One book for children aged just five contains cartoon images of a couple having sexual intercourse and another compares sex to skipping.
The skipping reference is entirely to do with (and you would know this if you read the entire article) the sort of activity that “you can’t do all day”.
Is that clear? There are no other similarities.
I have not skipped for over 40 years. The last time that I did, I fell over and got a nosebleed, and took several minutes to extricate myself from the rope.


“The Christian Institute – a charity that promotes Biblical teaching – said parents were being kept in the dark”.
There is nothing wrong with this. Some people are shy. How and when they conduct ‘thingy’ is entirely their own concern. On balance (no innuendo intended), it is probably better that they conduct these activities in their own homes in the dark than in full daylight in the middle of a nearby traffic island, Pamela.


Pamela said...

I'm sure I have no idea what on earth you're referring to.

Vicus Scurra said...

You were very quick not to have an idea. B+

Rol said...

Can I borrow your skipping rope? Mine is shagged.

Dave said...

I must admit I read the article earlier today and wondered how long it would be before it came to your attention (the article I mean, not sex. I'm sure you'd heard of that before. Probably.).

40 years ago? Was it sports day at the home for retired gentlefolk?

Z said...

I have found that sex lasts longer than skipping, both in time spent on it and the number of years for which it is a pleasurable activity.

Vicus Scurra said...


Z said...

Have I said something surprising? Remember, dear heart, that this is Norfolk, where the men have stamina and the women are happy.

Vicus Scurra said...

I have heard that the average man in Norfolk can hold on for ten minutes.

Not sure of the length of the skipping rope.

english inukshuk said...

good grief!

but then again, this is what you'll get from reading such a newspaper

Richard said...

I'm afraid I'm unable to comment as I am recovering from the sight of an undraped standard lamp.