Monday, March 14, 2011

Two from the top, please, Carol.

I am not altogether surprised that my recent treatise on filth attracted more comment (but only slightly) than my thoughts on the state of the universe. It seems that I have now found the level of my readership (aMToNW).

There may be some of you not familiar with the programme on the electric television called “Countdown”. (It has only been on for 25 years, Dave). It is a quaintly British institution, invented in France, where the last few dozen people in the country capable of spelling and counting compete with each other in order to win a teapot.

On Friday’s edition the competitors were required to make the longest possible word out of the letters “LAFTEINLO”. They failed miserably. The winning competitor offered “ELATION”, and Susie “that’s fantastic” Dent only managed “FLATLINE”. I saw the nine letter word immediately, and have been disappointed ever since not to hear it enunciated on mid-afternoon television.

Any commentators using the “a bit of a mouthful” comment will have 10 points deducted.

13 comments:

Dave said...

Oddly, this is the first post I have understood in its entirety.

Richard said...

Cunningly linguistic.

I have the original French board game, Les Chiffres et des Lettres, given to me by my penfriend in 1975. Gosh, the FUN we had with that.

WV = affshaug

Vicus Scurra said...

Well done, padre! Let's hope that you eventually reach the level of comprehension of a normal adult, albeit in Norfolk.
Richard. My wv is "conscru".

Christopher said...

When I used to watch it very occasionally in the 80s, presided over by Richard something and one Carol Smillie, it seemed the very acme of decorum and good taste. Perhaps the competitors you mention also saw it at once but politely assumed it would not be something to trip off anyone else's tongue and therefore not worth mentioning.

Des chiffres et des lettres is still on the go here, incidentally, 4.15 most afternoons.

Andy Bridle said...

A 9-letter word? I'll be blowed if I can see it, so, come on, what is it? Spit it out...

Vicus Scurra said...

Christopher. When you say you used to watch it, I trust that you are referring to the television programme rather than the act alluded to.
Andy. I love you.

Z said...

Funnily enough, Rog used that very word to gain an obscenely high score in Facebook Scrabble against me recently.

Vicus Scurra said...

Z. Please do not encourage me to add smutty innuendo to this entirely innocent thread.

Rol said...

I'm still trying to work out the rude words behind the acronym "aMToNW". Are the last two "nipple wash"?

Vicus Scurra said...

In your case, Rol, "A Morbid Terror of Naughty Words".

Tim Footman said...

Carol Vorderman had a calculator in her pants. When she didn't know the answer, she scratched her bum. Fact.

moreidlethoughts said...

I have been absent too long. I expect I'll have to do some sort of penance?
But I think I may have uncovered your alias...you are really this chap who writes for The (used to be Manchester) Guardian, aren't you?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2011/mar/18/royal-wedding-wills-kate-novel

Well, it reads awfully like you!

Pearl said...

I've just stumbled in and have been immediately overwhelmed.

I'm going to go lay down now...

Pearl