Tuesday, April 17, 2012

In which Scurra yet again expands the boundaries of taste.

In the news today, a team of 'government appointed' experts give the go ahead for fracking. I mean, who wouldn't put up with a minor earthquake or two if they could help some of Slimy Dave's mates get rich? And by 'government appointed' they mean lickspittle environmental fascists.

Last week it was Slimy Dave pressing for better relations with Burma. By that he meant licence to sell weapons to another oppressive regime, which is fine because they don't have much oil or anything.


I am tired of being in opposition, and have realised I must be wrong. I am looking for an opportunity to join the entrepreneurial culture. I shall be applying for a licence to open a slavery business in Henley on Thames. If I can  persuade the government that there is some good money to be made, I am sure that they will put aside any minor concerns about ethics. So, be on the lookout for any neighbours or friends who are young and strong (preferably) or maybe who just irritate the shit out of you. They don't have to be black, but as those people have it in their blood, I will be offering better rates. I will be round in my van in a few weeks to pick them up.

20 comments:

Richard said...

Not another slavery business based in Henley.

Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, Richard, typical of you fucking lefties. A chap shows a bit of initiative, and all you can do is scorn. No wonder Crewe Alexandra are in League Two.

MarkG said...

Crewe are in League Two??? I had no idea they were doing so well.

Vicus Scurra said...

Mark, League Two is the old Division Four. Try to keep up.

I was delighted to read in the Grauniad that fracking is unlikely to result in the collapse of Lancashire. Others might say that if it were, then that would be a good thing, but I have no quarrel with the people of Woodplumpton or Ainsdale-on-Sea.

Zig said...

As usual a load of hot air

tom909 said...

Ken, You might be interested in purchasing my ten week Internet based study course entitled, 'Why screwing over the general public is nothing but good for them' with a follow up course (which comes free with your first purchase) entitled 'Wealth creation - it's for the benefit of everyone'.
The complete boxed set can be yours for just £1000.

Vicus Scurra said...

Zig. Yes, I see what you did there.
Tom. Are you paying tax on this?

Rol said...

I'm neither young nor strong, but I do need a job. Count me in! (Do I get holidays? Sick pay? Pension? Foot massage?)

MarkG said...

Tom, sign me up. I'm passionate about screwing over the general public. I'm a creative team player with excellent people management skills and 110% committed to results orientated wealth creation for the benefit of all. This means everything to me!

Vicus Scurra said...

Rol. My van will be in Yorkshire sometime in May. Just hop in, no need to worry yourself about terms and conditions. That is for wimps.
Mark. You are on dangerous ground with Tom. Just a warning.

tom909 said...

Mark, you speak my language. (are we allowed to LOL on this site)

Vicus Scurra said...

Tom. I am watching you. Stop asking Mark, or anyone else, if stuff is OK. This is not a fucking democracy, it is a free market enterprise under which you will all be made happy simply by sending me money.

Vicus Scurra said...

And by the fucking way, Tom, there is an invoice on its way for the advertisement you tried to place on my website. Pay up.

tom909 said...

you know as well as I do Ken, if someone manages to work a plug into an article of even a tv prog it comes for free. You don't think I commented on your blog out of some greater purpose do you Ken. You really have to stop thinking that there is more to life than making money.

Vicus Scurra said...

I'll work a plug into you, you bastard, if you don't pay me.

tom909 said...

Mmmmmmmmm that sounds good.....

Richard said...

Pictures of that when you're ready.

MarkG said...

Am now grossed out. Please change the subject. I have a delicate constitution.

Vicus Scurra said...

In addition to being charged for his ad, Tom will be charged for lowering the tone. Please note that anyone who panders to his sordid peccadilloes will be similarly expected to pay a nominal fee (£50).

Scarlet Blue said...

As a member of the general public I feel it is my right to charge for being screwed over.
And footage of this screwing will be available to download for a small fee.
Sx
...I'm all gas and I doubt the earth will move for anyone...