Saturday, May 19, 2012

Up against the wall

Grinning vile bastard rubs stomach in anticipation of massive dinner at the taxpayers expense, while Philip invites another foreign Johnny to pull his finger.

The group photograph of some of the world's leading wastes of space. Some of these people have been thrown out of their own country, others are merely  figureheads, and a small minority are fascist dictators. We welcome them all, torturers and sadists it matters not a jot.

Andrew politely asks whether there is room in the harem for a couple of frisky wenches that he wants to offload. Meanwhile Beatrice assumes that the Middle Eastern woman is a domestic servant and asks her to vacuum the curtains.

"Yes! I know! All I did was dress up as a nazi and the shit hit the fan, and here's you publicly executing people for witchcraft and nobody says fuck all! Amazing!"

"And remember to put the bloody covers back on the sofa before you leave"

"No, really, you can have them for free. No other bugger wants them."

"No, it's perfectly OK in this country for ginger people to walk around without tea-towels on their head! Crazy!"

The king of Swaziland is offended to be told that he is not the most despicable bastard at this gathering


Pearl said...

Ha! Where were the Bushes?!


Vicus Scurra said...

Pearl. This is not a porn site, and the queen seldom entertains naked these days. Since that incident with the King of Morocco and the asparagus, anyway.

Oh! I see what you mean.

Christopher said...

Ho ho.

I'm having a little trouble in determining the proper mode of address when invoking you by name. Strictly speaking, as you know the vocative form of the Latin 'Vicus' would be 'Vice'. Although 'Mr Vice' is a correct mode of address to the vice-president in certain wardrooms and messes, I don't think I can go through life calling you Vice, as though you were a character in a mediaeval morality play.

However none of this prevents me from admiring the regal style of your invective.

Vicus Scurra said...

Christopher, I love you. You can call me whatever you want. I have no idea how to correctly pronounce my name, perhaps you can assist.