1) Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident". "Shit!” the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks... ''How many is a Brazillion?”
2) My boss was discussing a series of meetings that are due to start on the 10th October. We may not be ready for these meetings, and he said “We may have to postpone the 10th.” I pointed out that we could not do that, we would still have to have it between the 9th and the 11th, but what we could do was to arrange to do something else on that day. I sometimes wonder why my career has not progressed further, given my ability to clarify issues so helpfully.
3) As I have commented elsewhere, the sight of Lulu performing “Mr Tambourine Man” on the BBC the other evening has had a profound effect upon me. I still cannot understand the reason for inflicting this upon us. There was no need to prove that there are people capable of making Mr Dylan’s songs sound worse than the man himself does, and were there to be such a need, then the appearance of a modern beat combo called “XTC” on the same programme would have made the point quite adequately.