Saturday, October 01, 2005

A news item, an update on British business and a critique of popular music, all in one post

1) Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident". "Shit!” the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks... ''How many is a Brazillion?”

2) My boss was discussing a series of meetings that are due to start on the 10th October. We may not be ready for these meetings, and he said “We may have to postpone the 10th.” I pointed out that we could not do that, we would still have to have it between the 9th and the 11th, but what we could do was to arrange to do something else on that day. I sometimes wonder why my career has not progressed further, given my ability to clarify issues so helpfully.

3) As I have commented elsewhere, the sight of Lulu performing “Mr Tambourine Man” on the BBC the other evening has had a profound effect upon me. I still cannot understand the reason for inflicting this upon us. There was no need to prove that there are people capable of making Mr Dylan’s songs sound worse than the man himself does, and were there to be such a need, then the appearance of a modern beat combo called “XTC” on the same programme would have made the point quite adequately.


Adam said...

I admit, I laughed at the first one a little. Perhaps I am devloping what's known as a sense of humor. I've heard that it can be treated with antibiotics (mind-numbing TV).

odqzkdm- The special TV frequency (somewhere between UHF and satellite) used to carry the FOX network.

Mark Gamon said...

Oh. There's the Lulu thing. Memo to self: read Vicus's blog before you comment on his comments on your blog.

Pat said...

I read the Brazilian joke elsewhere and try as I might I couldn't raise a smile. Maybe I'm just having a SOH failure

Vicus Scurra said...

By strange coincidence, Pat, when I read your comment I laughed uncontrollably.

broomhilda said...

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy".

" No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs Bush was struck by a friendly fire missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," said the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either".

rqndrysq - the act of posting jokes to the comments section of anothers blog.

Adam said...

Hold on, I know of another political joke:

"Howard Dean"

vrlghih- The noise produced from vomiting over bad jokes.

Alan said...

And yet otherwise sane folk are buying Franz Ferdinand records seemingly unaware that they are actually XTC attempting to extend their career by putting on different costumes and silly fake Glasgow accents.

fwwxcaw - an obscene act performed in front of underage birds of the crow or rook varieties.