Friday, February 22, 2008

Wherein Scurra again inadvertently offends large sections of his readership.

Continuing the theme of unreliable right-wing (redundancy?), I found this little gem on the site of one of the world’s largest conglomerates of lying bastards.

Ladies, be not alarmed! If it is on Fox news, its veracity is at best questionable.

I am sure that you all have a G spot. If you find it, or already know where it is, then tell your partner. He or she will be grateful, and will save themselves hours of effort.

I was particularly intrigued by this section:

“….used an ultrasound to scan the area of the vagina where the G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot after Ernest Gräfenberg, the man who discovered it, is located.”

I had to read it several times before I could be sure that the subject of the “where” was the G Spot, and not Mr Grafenberg. I am pleased for him. Being located in that area has its merits, and indeed seems to be the most sought after place in the universe for many of us, but I don’t think I would like to take up residence there, and I am sure that Mr Grafenberg shares the same view. If I am wrong, then please form a single column line of volunteers to conduct the search for him.

I was also unaware why the G spot was so called. It had never occurred to me. I admit it. I am, like the rest of the male sub group only interested in personal gratification. The pursuit of female erogenous zones is tiresome enough, without having to study the history, geography and etymology.

Herr Grafenberg led a team of explorers in search of this elusive area. He was rewarded by having the spot named after him. It is only a tiny area, so they couldn’t use the whole name, so, although I had heard of Cook, Van Diemen and Rhodes, and knew something of them and had a vague idea of the location of the places named after them, the name of Grafenberg has, up to this time, been beyond the boundaries of my knowledge, and I have no idea where his discovery lies.

I wonder what he told his wife he had done at work each day. Did he, as they say, bring his work home with him, literally or figuratively. “For fuck’s sake Ernst, put that torch and telescope away and give us a shag, will you?”

10 comments:

Richard said...

I knew why it was called such. Might as well read about it in the absence of anything else.

zoe said...

Q thought it was called the G-spot because nobody could find where the eff it was.

Vicus Scurra said...

Richard. I know why the Ivory Coast is called the Ivory Coast. Doesn't mean that I can get there without a map.
Zoe. He is a very naughty boy. But I expect you knew that.

Homey said...

The average 'on-error' personality at Fox News have their heads so deeply entrenched up their rectums, that it is physically impossible for them to locate anything other than the huge piles of excrement that one might expect to discover in such a vacuous, smelly, dark, narrow, tunnel.

Just how exactly does one go about volunteering at the Gräfenberg Institute. I wonder if they have any positions opening up? I'd sure like to get in there. Maybe I should send out some feelers. I can't quite put my finger on it but..


Ok I'll stop.

Vicus Scurra said...

I'll put your name up, Homey.

Dave said...

I couldn't possibly comment.

Cherrypie said...

I suspect Herr Grafenberg had a common vitamin deficiency known to cause curvature of the bone.

It's a blessing bananas came much later.

I, still, like the views said...

I read the real story in New Scientist

perhaps you ought to subscribe to a higher quality news feed/journal. . .

Vicus Scurra said...

ISLTV. You are in serious danger of becoming a victim to the myth that higher quality journals exist.
All that you are getting in the New Scientist is a better quality of bullshit that may lead you to believe there is something of substance in their meanderings.
Stick to reading my wisdom, dear, and I will make sure that you are well-informed and entertained.

I, still, like the views said...

what's the difference between better and higher then?

;-)

and as for "well informed", what about C18th Egyptian history. . .

but all this pedanticism on my part is needless/pointless, given how entertaining you are, dear