Coming soon - rhino wrestling from Alice Springs

Following on from the recent tale (brought to you by the leading provider of human interest stories on the net (that's enough self-glorification. ed.)) of the snake-punching Sheila from south Queensland (that's enough strained alliteration. ed.) I now introduce Mr Norm Moreen, a typical self-deprecating Aussie bloke, whose idea of a fun night out is to jump on a crocodile and poke it in the eyes. I'm not really sure why this made the news. I have chased many a cat - including toms! - out of my garden, but I don't get the fucking Grauniad coming round with a posse of photographers.