Friday, June 13, 2008

You will all be very proud of me.

On way to airport to pick up in-laws.
Mrs S. "I forgot to bring any nuts".
Me: Nothing. Not a word. Nary a smirk. Zilch.
I will be giving lessons in self-control next month. Please sign up here.

19 comments:

Dave said...

Very proud indeed, Vicus. Will you be showing the same control when comment on the inanities we write about on our blogs?

Pamela said...

I do believe this is one of the signs of the apocalypse spoken of in the Book of Revelations.

'yea and verily vicus did hold his tongue and the world was amazed...'

I'm paraphrasing here of course.

Really. I'm ever so proud of you.

Dave said...

That would be the Book of Revelation (no s) of which Pam speaks. I know that Vicus knows this, but his readers may not; he is too much of a gentleman to mention it himself and so it falls to my lot to be the pedant round here.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. "when comment". No need to go to your blog to find inanities then?
Pamela. You won't trap me like that - I bet you thought that I would say that my next trip to the airport would be to pick up War, Death and Famine, didn't you? No, I am on my best behaviour. For the record, on the occasion that my mother-in-law, seeing me working in the garden asked "where is the broom?", the rumour that I replied, "Why, do you want to fly home?" is purely apocryphal. (Giving Dave another chance to tell you about the books of the Bible).
Dave. "Falls to my lot". Implies you are a relation of OT hero. Behind You!

lucyfishwife said...

Can you teach me not to sigh heavily with weary disdain when someone comes into the BOOKSHOP in which I sell BOOKS and says "I'm looking for a book...?"

Richard said...

But was it self-control or an instinct for self-preservation?

Donn said...

We here at the Scurrilous Vicuna Association are so proud of you.
Please note that a generous gratuity has been added to your remuneration as a token of our appreciation.

As for the John's Book Of Speculation, like Luther, Martin not Lex, and others, I think that it is pure crazytalk to try to legitimize it's content with some sort of relevancy for modern worryworts...

other than providing the impetus for Aphrodite's Child writing The Four Horsemen..one of THE greatest Rock songs in history!

Pamela said...

I've always wondered why it is named the Book of Revelation when there is more than one thing revealed inside it's difficult to understand text.

I'm certain it mentions something about vicus in there.

Dave said...

It's called the Revelation of John because of the opening verse which says 'This is the revelation...'

zoe said...

I came here to comment and have ended up learning about things in the bible, a book that I have never read. Is it worth reading? Can I buy it in a bookshop or off Amazon?

Vicus Scurra said...

Zoe. I don't think you have learned much about the contents of the bible from the comments here. Pamela has indicated a little familiarity with one of the books, and Dave has shown his ability to be pedantic.
I have read the tome in question. It does not have many laughs, and the authors are some of the most miserable buggers ever to have put pen to paper/chalk to slate/scratchings on cave walls/snot on papyrus (I'll leave it to Dave to describe the actual materials used).
Like most scriptures it describes a deity who most of the time is a grumpy old git, and, surprisingly, I don't have much sympathy for him. If you want to read a more uplifting scripture try the Ramacharitamanasa, if you want to find God on a really bad day try the Koran. None of the scriptures are very big on humour, which is odd, considering that they are describing this world and the omnipotent deity who created it.
I hope that this helps, and look forward to the bile being poured upon me as a result of writing this, not to mention the fatwah.

Dave said...

I'm not pouring any bile. The funny bits are more like irony, so you may miss them (as some people do on my blog).

Richard said...

Didn't Spike Milligan do a re-write of the Bible?

Donn said...

God on a really bad day..HA!

They won't be 'mullah-ing' over this irreverence for very long...
no doubt a big 'fat-one' has already been issued.

Once you're safely ensconced in the witness protection program, please give my regards to Salman and the Shah.

Rol said...

Personally, I'm disappointed.

Kindness said...

I'm with rol but sign me up anyway... I could use a little self-control right now. :)

zoe said...

Gosh, an entire paragraph aimed at ME. I think I'll give this bible book a miss and the koran doesn't sound that uplifting either. I appear to have 2 copies of the book of mormon - is that something to do with the Simpsons?

ziggi said...

lacking in self control can be fun,
I hear.

tom909 said...

As a personal friend of the Scurra's (and as a friend who has never understood apostrophes), for the record and for the sake of balance, I would like to point out that I have had many interesting conversations with Mrs S, and not solely about nuts.