Friday, November 07, 2008

Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall

In contrast to my previous despatch, which may have been inclined towards the pessimistic, I want to reassure all of you out there who rely upon me for understanding the major movements in the world, that things are certainly looking up, and we are entering an era when injustices will be removed and peace and harmony will reign.
To support this argument, I enclose a picture of my dear friend Mort. He is the one wearing the hat.


I met Mort when we worked for associated companies, doing a similar job on either side of the Atlantic. At the time there was some discussion among our colleagues about which one of us was the more eccentric. Eccentric was the kindest description used. At the time, the view was that I had the slight edge, although I am not sure what criteria were used. I am happy to report that I have retained my zany behaviour, whereas Mort has, as you can tell, settled down and managed to behave in a manner which enables him to go unnoticed among the general public. He has taken, for a reason I do not know, to calling himself “Mountaine”, but other than that he could pass for an accountant or quantity surveyor.

It is with the support of the average man in the street such as my friend that Mr Obama has managed to sculpt his victory. You can all sleep soundly in your beds knowing that those who voted for and will continue to enable the new president to carry out his reforms are such solid, grounded and sensible citizens.

14 comments:

Dave said...

'I have retained my zany behaviour' it doesn't show.

Romeo Morningwood said...

Mort, sorry, "Mountaine", bears a stunning resemblance to the new VP Joe Biden!

Seriously, "Mountaine" could be his target double...
I hear that pays pretty well...
and really, who gives two f*cks about Biden?

I am intrigued by the proposition of changing my name..
perhaps I'll replace it with some artsy-fartsy, unpronounceable, symbol like Prince did?!

That was like so totally cool!

I, Like The View said...

you worked. . .

curious

zoe said...

ILTV - you don't honestly believe that Vicus ever worked? Oh my, how the gullible have fallen...



word verification: biate, Americanism for 'bait'.

Tim Atkinson said...

Oh good. That's alright, then.

I, Like The View said...

please excuse me a moment, Mr Scurra. . .

zoe I never know what to believe about vicus, it's delightful! in a world where so much is certain, I find him and his unpredictablility totally wonderful

and yes, gullibility is one of my personal characteristics; flat-chestedness being the other

zoe said...

ILTV - just so long as you don't get caught up in sending Vicus Christmas cards, you'll be fine.

Just fine...

Unknown said...

Yes, the Obamessiah is in place and all is right in the universe.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. Admittedly, I cannot compete with you.
Donn. Please do not encourage people to shoot Mountaine. There are very few like him left, and they should be treasured. You name is already unpronounceable, what is all this shit with the extra "n"? Are we meant to stutter your name?
ILTV. Yes, I thought someone would pick up on that. I was young and knew no better.
Dotterel. A new boy! Excellent! Did they not warn you about coming over here? Apart from the damage it will do to your sensibilities, it has already resulted in me following that old reprobate Dave over to read your blog. I fear I may read it regularly, and be forced to soil your comment box. I can only apologise.
ILTV, it is a little cruel to taunt Zoe about her disproportionate mammary glands. While the immature among the readers here might find the sight of her running down the street giving herself black eyes to be highly risible, the more sensitive among us find those times when here support system gives way and she has to use a wheelbarrow to be very sad.
Zoe. You have never, ever, sent anyone a christmas card. Please don't write about things in which you have no experience. That is my prerogative.
Pam. You old cynic. I am very disappointed.

I, Like The View said...

zoe! vicus and I did xmas cards last year. . . don't think he coated mine in arsenic. . .

but thanks for your concern

;-)

I, Like The View said...

vicus I don't taunt - you might know that about about me by now

it was as self obsessed a comment as mine always are

zoe said...

ILTV - it wasn't the bright pink card last year, was it? Heavens forbid, that man has absolutely NO taste. His poor, suffering wife. I feel for her as many others do...

I, Like The View said...

*pouts*

no

lucky you!

(mine seemed to be made of lentils. . .)(and very tasty it was too)

Unknown said...

Me? Cynical? No, just sane. I don't think of him as The One. I don't consider that he walks on water or is the end-all-be-all of the politcal world.

He's just a politician, a smooth speaking, well versed, good speaking politician.

But a politician nonetheless.