Friday, July 24, 2009

The queen attends the annual ceremony of mallard molesting, or whatever the bollocks it is called.


"And what do you do?". Same damn silly question every year, I was going to say "A bloody sight more than your bloody family," but Bert tried that last year and finished up on the table at Windsor with half a watermelon up his arse.

"Oh look! Your hats are the same colour as your jackets! Whose dumb idea was that?"


"And how long have you been a swan?"


Representatives from the Henley Aqua Sports club demonstrate the dying art of swan juggling.

From an early age the birds are taught to bow in the appropriate manner.


Liz is less than amused to find that, due to the credit crunch, her trip to Anchorage will take longer than anticipated.

"Then you snap the neck just here."

9 comments:

Dave said...

I think it's wonderful that you old folk keep up the memory of these traditions.

Richard said...

Are you in this year's Dogget Coat and Badge?

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. You too are wonderful.
Richard. Do I strike you as the sort of person given to taking part in idle pursuits?

Donn said...

I say, the Royal F*cking Cygnets are looking nice and plump this year Yum-Yum!

The proud Orangemen appeared suitably tongue-tied as did the adoring public audience which was once again so graciously supplied by Madame Tussaud's House of Wax.

A lovely outting was had by HRH and her sycophantic existentialist minions who were hoping to get properly Goosed by those manly Orangemen...
and speaking of Goosed, Bravo Mr & Mrs Tax Paying Suckers, for enabling this exhorbitant, useless, charade of utter bullsh*t to thrive and now extend into the 21st Century, bravo.

Rog said...

Swanning about as usual

Geoff said...

I've been waiting all my life to answer the Queen when she asks me what I do.

Looks like I'll have to make do with Boris Johnson.

KAZ said...

Redcoats?
Is she at Butlins?
Or are they the Chelsea Pensioners in their new credit crunch uniforms?

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh my WORD, I'm screaming out LOUD!!! YOU have me in hysterics!!! Spotted you on Lady Bird World Mother this morning and had to drop in. The picture alone WAS worth a thousand words but glad to have read the words, nonetheless. Thanks for the major giggles. The one that really sent me over the edge was the photo of the queen in the little dingy and your rapier wit commentary!

Vicus Scurra said...

Robynn! Thank you, and how nice it is to have discerning readers. Good job you didn't see these, then:
http://vicusscurra.blogspot.com/2007/05/hands-across-sea.html
http://vicusscurra.blogspot.com/2007/05/hands-across-sea-part-2.html
http://vicusscurra.blogspot.com/2007/05/hands-across-sea-part-3.html
http://vicusscurra.blogspot.com/2007/11/60-glorious-years-of-opening.html