As I was just commenting to my new friend and quasi-cousin Richard, I am rather proud of the fact that Theodore and Evadne Google have placed me second on their list of most popular web sites for those typing the phrase “I am being fellated” into their message box.
I am of the view that we should be circumspect about delving into the motives of those who visit the Googles. Theodore and Evadne are remarkably non-judgemental, which is one of the reasons that I am so fond of them, but this does mean that, sometimes, they fail to discriminate sufficiently, and some of their visitors are less than charismatic.
So, under what circumstances would one type the phrase “I am being fellated” into a search engine? If all is well with the world, and the energy is flowing nicely and all that bollocks, then there are millions of people being fellated at any given time. I doubt, however, whether there are millions being fellated while at the keyboard. I am at the keyboard, but not, as far as I can tell, being fellated – I have had to have a stern word with Penelope Cruz about that, and so far she is behaving with more decorum. So, given that there are not that many people simultaneously practising their keyboard and Joe Blob skills, how many of them would need to let the world know about it by seeing if anyone else has used the phrase in recent times? What would be gained by this? Given that Theodore and Evadne have not yet made their application real-time, what are the chances that you could find someone in a similar situation and compare notes with them?
Most of these questions are rhetorical, and I would not want my blushing virtual friends to be indiscrete by being over-descriptive here, but maybe, having used the phrase “I am being fellated” several times, I might get to number one in the charts, and the next time my mysterious visitor wants to share his (or her?) experiences with us, he (or SHE?) would be so kind as to leave an explanatory comment.