Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Not being entirely successful in trying to change the subject

Just as I was sitting here, refreshed, inspired and looking forward to fulfilling my task of bringing education to the world, my attention was caught by my old friends over at Live Science.

Please believe me when I tell you that I consider that I have done more than my fair share to highlight the appalling practice of using inappropriate units of measure. I never again expect to refer to salad plates except in acceptance speeches for awards for improving the lot of humanity. However, I cannot rest easy knowing that, in the name of science, TCM are getting away with it.

Apparently, man-made ponds in North America are having a “dramatic impact”, in as much as sediment is accumulating therein, instead of going into rivers and their deltas.

“The trapped sediment could fill more than three million railroad boxcars a year.”

How many teaspoonfuls is that then, Brains? I would further remind you that four hundred and thirty three billion is “more than three million”.

Not only that, but TCM fail to say whether the dramatic effect is positive or negative. As if we are supposed to know. As if we did our science homework last night. Twats.

There is another article about how the smoking of marijuana in youth affects memory. And do not think that I am going to provide obvious punchlines.

19 comments:

tom909 said...

I was just going to answer that point about marijuana, what was it about now...

Richard said...

Heaped or level?

snrkan: an obsolete Serbo-Croat term for bollocks

Mark Gamon said...

A heaped boxcar, Richard? Don't be silly.

I know a Butch Hancock song about Boxcars. Vicus will be delighted to know I've mislaid the CD so I can't quote the lyrics. But they were lonely boxcars. There weren't three million of them.

Where's my salad plate when I need it?

(There are no good verification words in Blogger today)

Vicus Scurra said...

Is Butch his name, or an adjective. I suspect that if it is the latter then he has issues which he addresses by choosing macho topics for songs.

Sharon J said...

Well as I was saying...err... what was it I was saying?

apoxoxk - A horned beast who's generally attracted to the pus filled spots of humans, especially those of young males.

Adam said...

"apoxoxk - A horned beast who's generally attracted to the pus filled spots of humans, especially those of young males."

I believe I saw one of those at a party over in L Building last October. She was hideous. Kept hitting on me, but ended up with someone much more drunken than I was. Poor fool.

Tnalxekf- Failed drug designed to counter the effects of beer goggles.

Pamela Troeppl said...

I had a salad plate full of boxcars once. Or was it a boxcar full of marijuana? Wait, I remember now. It had something to do with....uh.... Um. ::scratches head::

I'm sorry, what was the question again?

Pamela


Pamela Troeppl
Humor Columnist and Author
www.pamela-troeppl.com

Vicus Scurra said...

Adam. Ambiguity is the mother of obfuscation. Sometimes remember that. I do not know which of you was the 'poor fool'.

And despite my warnings about obvious punchlines, several of you jumped in there with the memory jokes. I was determined not to find any of them amusing. Damn you, Pamela.

ekwmti - a feeling of evenness of mind that lasts for a few moments during an alcohol imbibing session, before abject depression sets in, and you finish up hitting on Adam.

caroline said...

I for one will never, ever, use my salad plates again without thinking of you or your poor beleaguered cousin.
I suspect I am not alone.

dnsacyev: Scottish person, having taken Dutch courage, telling employee to walk, next word is bu..

Vicus Scurra said...

Caroline, I also suspect that you are not alone. Whether you deserve to be is a matter for those more judgemental than I.

raincoaster said...

Were those EU boxcars or North American boxcars?

Lady Caroline Withering-Scornforth said...

Oh sod off, you mad Gin Ger scientist.
And get a comb - look at the state of yourself man.

Vicus Scurra said...

Raincoaster. Over here, I think we call them 'wagons', I've never heard the word boxcar in a UK context.

Perhaps some of my anorak wearing, train spotting correspondents can provide that information. Or, alternatively, not bloody bother.

Caroline, if you speak to your friends like that, we don't have too far to look to discover the reasons for your isolation, now do we?

Lady Caroline Withering-Scornforth said...

I came here by invitation. And also because someone had to.

I treat ALL my friends badly. Git.

Mark Gamon said...

Hurrah! Lady Caroline is back. Break out the silver salad plates, butler...

Martha said...

Obviously you didn't do School Cert maths, because "boxcar" was in fact part of the syllabus.

Apparently it is the only reasonable ocean measure.

munpjvo: weapon used in Papua New Guinea benoggining stenographers.

Adam said...

After looking up both "ambiguity" and "obfuscation," I was ready to answer your question. Then I realized that I didn't really need to know either word in order to answer it.

The guy who ended up "going all the way" with the Apoxoxk was the one that I was referring to as the "poor fool."

uaicsgz- The most accurate spelling of the sound heard from the bathroom when that guy and the Apoxoxk were in there together.

Vicus Scurra said...

Martha. Welcome. When I was at school we did GCE, I suspect that School Cert is antipodean in nature.
Mrs Lewis tutored us very effectively for GCE O Level Maths, by finishing the syllabus 6 months early and then getting us to do previous papers for the remainder. Did this result in my being good at maths? Probably not, but 40 years ago I was bloody good at passing maths exams.
Adam, while you were using your dictionary, you should have looked up "statement" and "question". I did not pose any question in my previous response to you for fear of your answering it. But I guess that you are welcome here. It is nice to have a different viewpoint, albeit yours.

Richard said...

You may care to know that I have edited my latest to include reference to your favourite development.

jnpupyur. Alcoholic beverage made from a fermented mixture of reed pith and sweat obtained from the area around a yak's withers. Popular nowhere.