I would like to thank all of those kind people who have enquired about my health. I regret to inform you all that I am in fine fettle (Adam, that is a small settlement just off the coast of Northamptonshire), apart from a very irritating cough. I am sure that your prayers have been effective in producing a cure.

On the subject of prayers and miracles, TCM at LiveScience have an article wherein scientists are putting forth the opinion that Jesus did not walk on water. No, of course not, the Sea of Galilee froze over. Yes, Jesus was the Robin Cousins of his day. I will not get into the religious/theological aspect of whether this makes any bloody difference (I may even censor the comments if I get an attack by loonies). There is no point lampooning a minority religion when TCM leave themselves open to such ridicule. Why are scientists bothering to invent reasons for strange phenomena, when there are questions of great import waiting to be answered? How big was the big bang? And in comparison to what? For all we know there could have been much bigger bangs before it, but there was no bugger there to record them.

Also at LiveScience is a report that children in the USA are having sex before they learn to drive. Adam will confirm the veracity of this. I do not believe that the same is true in the UK. I did not have sex before my driving test, I merely shook hands with the examiner. I sense that he may have wanted to go further, I can tell by the way that he clenched my thigh during the three point turn, and shouted out “Shag me till my ears bleed” instead of hitting the dashboard, when testing my ability to do an emergency stop. You will know that I am not judgemental by nature, but I do tend to be in favour of one thing at a time. Call me old fashioned.

Following that is the news story that a teacher, also in the USA, had sex with a pupil 28 times in a week. I sometimes feel that opportunity passed me by. I went to a very liberal and progressive school, and feel that I had a well-rounded education, but this particular extra-curricular activity was never made available to me. I could make a list in order of preference of those teachers with whom 28 sexual adventures would not have been too arduous, but it would be unfair to them to name them here. I can say, to his relief as much as mine, that Mr Robson would have come fairly near the bottom of the list.

Finally, now that I appear to be on the mend, please divert your prayers and good wishes to the demented sod who found his way here by putting the phrase “nudist acetic acid” into a search engine.

Even more finally, note that Mr Gamon, who still is unable to decide whether to blog, has transferred his blog to his own website. Please visit and cheer him up, he seems a little confused. I hope you enjoy Geoff's comment as much as I did. (Should that be "as much as I" or "as much as I did"?).

It will not get any more final than this. I hope that those of you with modern electronic equipment enjoyed “The Wire”, the third season of which concluded on FX last night. Completely brilliant, despite my difficulty in following the language (those crazy northerners, eh, Adam?). I am pleased to note that a fourth series is planned.