Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Glacial Arab pastures

I am very grateful to those nice folk at world history day for including my little essay in its entirety. As far as I can see I am the only person among the many thousands of people whose work has been displayed, who wrote about turnips up arses. This may, or may not, give future generations a distorted idea of the importance of the role played by root vegetables vis-a-vis the sphincter in the early years of the 21st century. I am not afraid to be in the vanguard of this cause. According to Theodore and Evadne Google, I am the only source of information on the subject “turnips up their arses” on the whole of the internet. In the more general field of turnips up the arse, I come a modest second. Had it not been for dear old Frontier Editor introducing the radish (and I use the word ‘introduce’ with a certain sense of ambiguity) I may have attained my rightful first place. So, despite the world conspiring against me these two weeks, I feel a certain sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Pavlov. Are you back?

(The heading is an anagram)

48 comments:

Martha said...

Oi.

I haven't got anything to say, but I'm needy, and have to prove I'm here.

Here I am.

Oi.

Martha said...

And then I thought of something to say.

I've got radishes in my fridge.

Pamela said...

Again with the radishes. And the ambiguity. And the anagrams.

Oh wait, that last part might be new.

Frontier Editor said...

Hey, it's Martha! Long time no see!

I must say for the record that I had no intention of displacing Vicus from his rightful position by my unthinking introduction of the subject of black radishes (Trust me; I would never introduce an actual black radish unless, of course, it was looking to meet another black radish).

Vicus Scurra said...

Martha. You don't have to prove that you are here. We can sense your presence. The world is a warmer and happier place because of it. And your idea for a home for radishes is so much more sensible than the suggestions from FE.
Pamela. There is never anything new here. Recycled nonsense is the order of the day.
FE. What is wrong with introducing a black radish to a white radish? Which state do you live in?
And enough with the radishes. This is a story about turnips. And arses.

Vicus Scurra said...

And no bugger has got the anagram yet. I am particularly disappointed by FE.

ktyvwv. Also an anagram to do with watching the box, lubricating while in a car of teutonic origin.

Dave said...

Ulcer tab, alias sap rag.

Am I close?

Do I win a small root vegetable?

Betty said...

Since you asked, the new blog address for Intererpeter Pavlov is http://owestronwynde.blogspot.com/

Not that much is happening there yet.

The Murphmeister said...

Is it

"Talc up Blair Arse Saga" ?

I know it hasn't got a vegetable in it but George Bush's arse has.

Mark Gamon said...

Aren't you supposed to give us a clue with an anagram?

Not that it'd help. I'm hopeless with crosswords...

realdoc said...

Is it
aria,clap,stub...lag....arse?

Frontier Editor said...

Everyone's disappointed in me Vicus - it's my lot in life. I did figure however, that G and A are word beginnings . . . can't pull one over on me, eh? Eh? Eh?

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. Disappointingly silly.
Betty. Obliged.
Murphmeister. Better than Dave. Not that that is really a commendation.
Mark. Of the arse. Turnip.
Realdoc. No. Of course not. But I admire your logic.
FE. No. G capital because it is the beginning of the sentence. A capital because it ought to have one. I get confused with Arabs and mosquitoes, because they are next to each other in the dictionary.

azsfo - some sort of restraining order, I suspect to do with the arse.

ziggi said...

'a thin hedge' is an anagram of the heading

Frontier Editor said...

Glacial arab pastures is also an anagram for Rutabagas apres Cilla.

Funny, but I don't recall this particular scene in "Day of the Triffids," nor do I remember Cilla Black in the cast. Perhaps it was restored in the director's cut?

Frontier Editor said...

And while I don't particularly empathize, I can understand why, with exercises like this, Alan Turing ran naked around town at night and weeping about his repressed homosexuality.

Thank heaven you didn't leave an Ultra message for me to decode.

Vicus Scurra said...

Ziggi. I love you.
FE. Much better.

Dave said...

On a similar theme to Murph: 'Lag a cat up Blair's arse'?

Although I feel Ziggi is on the right track.

Lyn said...

Reminds me of the time at a quiz night we got asked to make one word out of "new door"

The Murphmeister said...

I've just spent 10 minutes trying to make one word out of new door. Doh!

Anyway, Vicus, I've come up with the requisite vegetable-arse connection.... is it:

bail rectal asparagus ?

First Nations said...

.....suddenly i want a salad.

Adam said...

vwahgy- Phenomenon that is similar to a "wedgie," but involves a turnip instead of one's underwear.

Frontier Editor said...

Adam,

While personally inexperienced in any wedgie-like phenomena involving large tuber-like growths (or small or medium tuber-like growths for that matter), I have taken enough drafting and engineering-related courses to make the instinctive observation that a phenomenon involving a turnip can hardly be compared to a wedgie.

That said, where da white radishes at?

Vicus Scurra said...

Murphmeister - very warm.
First Nations - with turnips?
Dave - No.
Lyn - thank you.
Adam! My man! You have posted a comment which only contains a definition of the verification word. Is this an admission of your realisation that you have nothing to say?
FE - they do things differently in the south.
Thank you, I love you all.
Let me know when you give up on the anagram.

Pamela said...

You're not going to make a new post until someone deciphers your little anagram, are you?

You've discovered a way to get out of coming up with new posts. Excellent, vicus.

Cherrypie said...

I'm still sulking that you didn't at least wave as you drove past.

Is it something to do with 'Rectal Asparagus'?

Vicus Scurra said...

Not going to be there until tomorrow, CP, although I have been waving madly for several weeks.

raincoaster said...

Is it something to do with "Where Arabs may safely graze" which I think is the slogan of a salad bar in Mayfair?

Frontier Editor said...

I still feel smug because

A) I used all the letters and didn't add new ones,

B) I still managed some obscure 1960's English cultural connection,

C) I worked in (figuratively speaking) mentions both of radishes and rutabagas,

D) I managed a reference to "Blazing Saddles," and

E) I got a free shot at Adam.

Not shabby for an American, eh?

richard said...

The only problem there FE is that Cilla is far from obscure.

I've given up with it, I think he just made it up to confuse Adam but why on earth go to such elaborate lengths?

Dave said...

Ran it through the Bombe for 48 hours. Turns out it's coded: A=20, b=21, except when the numbers are prime, when they are doubled; square numbers count triple.

The message is: 'I love you all. Just off to Yorkshire via Mornington Crescent.'

ruth said...

c u, palatial grab arses.
Well go on, that's all i can come up with.

raincoaster said...

"Blair pastes glarcuaa"

It's some obscure reference to a Ramsay Campbell horror story set in Yorkshire?

The Murphmeister said...

"Rictalable Asparagus"

Having not eaten or slept for 3 days, can't we be put out of our misery now????

realdoc said...

For god's sake tell us the answer

ziggi said...

I bet he's buggered off up north now and left us all in suspenders

Pamela said...

We'll have to make him pay for this somehow.

The Murphmeister said...

He deserves an asparagus up his arse if I'm any judge.

Adam said...

No, don't you see? Glacial Arab pastures is the REAL place that he has gone to! It might sound non-existant, but it's actually a theme park in Dubai.

ereyycrx- Mickey-like mascot of Glacial Arab Pastures.

Dave said...

I see someone has been posting racist poems on your dear friend Boris' blog. Wasn't you, was it, Vicus?

Is that why you've fled the county?

Frontier Editor said...

Bon homme Richard: When I said obscure English reference, I meant "Day of the Triffids"

I have yet another translation of Vicus' poser: Rutabagas Alsace peril. Were Rutabagas a rival for imperial Germany's seizure of Alsace Lorraine in 1871? I'll have to go read up on that

raincoaster said...

I'm going to have to start taking this personally if that's the case.

Frontier Editor said...

What, Rain? The Alsace question

Richard said...

What Cilla wrote "Day of the Triffids"? John Wyndham did a great "Step Inside Love" (recorded as the Lucas Parkes).

Mark Gamon said...

I think Frontier Editor is close. However he's misplaced the punctuation:

The Alsace Question: what rain?

What rain indeed...

Vicus Scurra said...

Lots to reply to.
Or lots to whom to reply.
As you wish.
FE. Being nasty to Adam is shabby.
Richard. I made it up to confuse everyone. It worked.
Dave. ISIHAC is back on Monday.
Ruth. Now nice to hear from you. Try harder, sweetie.
Raincoaster. No.
Murphmeister. Don't overdo the asparagus - it can cause insomnia, I am told.
Realdoc. Gluteal Brassica Rapa.
Ziggi. And now I have buggered off back.
Pamela - your love and adoration is payment sufficient.
Murphmeister, if you are a judge then the contents of your arse would be of no surprise to me, whatever.
Adam. You little darling.
Dave. I only post under the one name chez Bozza.
FE. Your teutonic ponderings are well clear of the target.
Raincoaster. I have lost the train of your thought.
FE. I would advise you to lose the train of her thought too.
Richard - should that be "Which Cilla?" I only know of one Cilla. And even that seems to produce an overabundance.
Mark. Yes.

Frontier Editor said...

Well, well, a wild turnip up the ass. How delightful - the anagram, I mean.

I guess I'll have to revise my thesis on Alsace Lorraine and the Franco-Prussian war to accomodate the radish element, then.

I will admit, however, that my variations on the rutabaga theme may well have been supercillious.

And admit it Vicus, you would have done the same or worse to Adam given the opportunity

raincoaster said...

And who among us cannot say the same.

FYI: I was born in France; I am entitled to take everything personally. Indeed, I am culturally obliged to.