Sunday, December 17, 2006

You will all be pleased to hear that the annual time of great stress for me has passed, and I have produced the 2006 christmas card
As usual, it is of the highest standard, and best possible taste, and is available to any of you brave enough to email me your postal address.
If you email me your postal address, I will not be turning up at christmas, as I am aware that my gentle drug-free, vegetarian lifestyle is difficult to accommodate amongst omnivores, drunks, rebelrousers and practitioners of the art of dissipation.
Mrs S and I will, however, turn up for a summer vacation of not more than 12 weeks. We will give you several hours warning prior to arrival - plenty of time for you to get to the airport to pick us up.
I am going to rest now; tomorrow I shall start fretting about next year's card.


MJ said...

You're not going to post it on your blog?

Reggie (Mad Dog) Trubshawe said...

Of Course, Vicus!!!


Reggie (Mad Dog) Trubshawe
Unit 324 Archer Wing
HM Prison Griston

We are all staunch Royal supporters here and looking forward to entering you in the shower- er, I mean, the Annual Quiz. You can prop up the bars with us anytime, and there are already several defrocked Vicus's on my wing.

pip pip!

Dave said...

The problem with living in a holiday resort, as I do, is that you might just turn up for a holiday. I can recomment early August on the Norfolk coast - the watersports are at their best.

You would be sleeping in a tent in my garden, and would need your scuba gear.

betty said...

It's well worth sending your address to Vicus to receive one of those Christmas cards.

I find that if you rent rooms and move suddenly during the summer without forwarding the address to him it's a good way of avoiding him turning up on your doorstep with the missus and fifteen suitcases.

Richard said...

As I am now back living with my parents I very much doubt this would be suitably festive. We do have a stable.

Geoff said...

Our nearest airport's Gatwick. Can you fly there from Southampton?

lucien de la peste said...

May I fire the opening salvo in this year's war on Christmas cards?

awaiting said...

Oh Vicus...will it have a return address?

That way I can pack up my four kids, two german shepards, 6 kittens, hamster, lizard, my fishtank of over 123 different varities of fish, my 18 trunks of clothing, 12 trunks of shoes, my extensive collection of hardcore rap, earblaster stereo system and we can all head to your place for what would start out as just a meet of friends and turn into a 8 year long stay.


Kindness (disarms the difficult) said...

here is my address:

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

I look forward to your card. Thanks

Vicus Scurra said...

Richard. Cheer up, it's Christmas!

Geoff, it can be arranged, although I usually fly from RAF Odiham where I have a special arrangement with a young pilot.

Lucien. I suspect you are a little too late to fire opening salvos.

Awaiting. Only eight years? What ever happened to fucking commitment?

Kindness. Hey! That's the same address as the White House! Cool! Are you famous or something?

Kindness (disarms the difficult) said...

Yes Vicus, but if I told you my true identity, the CIA would be at your door within minutes of this comment post to confinscate your passport and family photos. You may then be taken to a deep dark basement at 10 Downing St. never to blog again.

I would rather not risk telling you.

Sharon J said...

As family I think you should know my address without having to ask. I shall be expecting a card to arrive with Saturday's post.

Vicus Scurra said...

Sharon. You may get a card, but not another post. Not after what you did with the last one.