I have noticed an increase in traffic this morning, thanks to a link from Mike, so I thought it would be nice to have a little tidy up around here to make the new visitors welcome. You remember at school when there were visitors? How we all made a special effort? Well, let’s do it properly this time.
I have assigned tasks to some of you, but just because you are not specifically mentioned does not mean that you are not a vital part of the team, so buck up. This will also serve as an introduction to you to the countless stream of nice people coming through here, so it is in your own best interest to behave. (I hope all these buggers do not leave a mess).
- Dave: You are in charge of bidding a nice goodbye to everyone on their way out. Shake hands and smile, and hand out the leaflets about future attractions.
- Pamela: I think all that we can expect from you is to keep your clothes on this time, and not regale visitors with tales of your illness. It is not nice.
- Richard: Please do not leave sports related comments everywhere, people trip over and not everyone is keen on them. Sadly, that is true.
- Tom: do NOT touch. Remember what the judge said.
- Mark: make sure that everyone is briefed about whatever is happening in the world of
. Don’t be too much of a misery though - remind everyone that the revolution is coming. Westminster
- Betty: We are not at home to Mrs Scatological.
- Geoff: Look after Betty, and make sure that no one leaves my nice articles in the wrong order.
- FFE – revert to your former profession for a while, please, and check the standard of any comments left for syntactical inexactitudes and sesquipedalian circumlocution.
- Zoe. Point out to everyone that you really are my friend and great admirer, and you were only joking with all of those very rude and hurtful comments.
- Adam. Don’t do that.
- Boris. Hide in the corner please, I love you dearly, but people might get the wrong idea.
Can you all make sure to point out to visitors that the information here is confidential; if any of them start poking about in the sections about my friends the Windsor-Mountbattens, be very diligent in pointing out the privacy rules.
So, welcome to all of you nice new people. Have you met the staff? I see them more as friends, which speaks volumes for my charitable nature, doesn’t it? Some of them have quite nice little homes of their own, which you can visit by means of the nice links that I have left, but I can’t take responsibility for what you find there. Some of them are less meticulous than I am. If you use the archives, please leave things as you found them. Have a nice time, ask me for help if you need it. No smoking or consumption of non-vegetarian food on the premises please.