Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Frog porn (geddit? (ribbit))

My dear friend ILTV has just posted an interesting little missive some of which concerns natural history.

Can you please advise me about a phenomenon that occurred this morning? It was annual breeding days for the local amphibians. I counted 15 frogs. I did this from a distance, as I am not voyeuristic by nature, and did not wish to disturb them. I am concerned, however, that if there were no more frogs present, then perhaps someone was without a partner. Do male frogs have more than one partner during their annual shag? I do hope so, or someone missed out, which would not be too bad, except that this happens only one day a year. Need I try to find the virgin and console them with some nice spiced spinach? How will I tell which one it is? The one not lying back smoking? They all look fairly lugubrious – I suppose that other frogs see some charm in them. I shall not be able to sleep peacefully until someone provides the answer. 

9 comments:

Dave said...

I do know that the African Bullfrog male may mate with more than one female.

I am not sure about the Hampshire Greenback.

Did these frogs, by any chance, appear to be African?

I, Like The View said...

perhaps this will take you mind of it, until someone does a little research and comes up with a satisfactory solution to your current dilemma

Richard said...

I have been assured by my friends Marcel and Alain that male frogs have been known to spread it around a bit.

Are you in some kind of pituitary related spring crisis? First the buffalo joke and now amphibian peeping tommery?

Rog said...

Read it Read it.

Betty said...

According to a wildlife documentary I saw, frogs have free for all day long orgies which even involve toads.

Donn Coppens said...

My Word!
Male Amphibians muck about via external fecundation on anything that isn't nailed down...and upon as many objects as possible.

They are frustrated little buggers because they lack a proper John Thomas.

It's all quite sordid and they will even commit themselves to perpetrating the act of beastliness upon flattened females lying on the roadside...
until they themselves croak under the next passing tire.
Silly bastards.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, when you say "may", does that mean that he is prone to, or is allowed to? I am never sure with Leviticus. As to the origin of my visitors, it is difficult to ascertain. I do not speak Swahili. Although their habit of all jumping in the pond and shagging together suggested that they might be natives of Haywards Heath.
ILTV. You are bounteous beyond compare.
Richard. Thank you for the concern. I did not pry too closely, but as it is the only day of the year when my little friends cast off their inhibitions, I was very pleased to see so many of them. I do like to see the young enjoying themselves. Next week I will be hosting a practical sex education seminar for members of North East Hampshire's 6th form. I am much too old to pay much attention to that also.
Rog. So have we all.
Betty. Thank you. I am not entirely sanguine about a complete lack of control in matters copulatory, but my liberal tendencies prevent me from interfering.
Donn, again I find myself in disagreement with you. It seems a much more sensible activity than that perpetrated by the drivers of the vehicles.

Donn Coppens said...

Alright I apologized to Gordie for misinforming him..I hope that you actually checked...
and I'll beg your pardon for whatever the hell I did wrong here.

I do know that some Australians take great pride in popping Cane Toads (bloody foreigners!) on the road..
although they are so huge that it isn't really much of a challenge.

Zed said...

My newts tend to lie on top of each other. I've yet to see a threesome though.


WV: flout .....