Wednesday, March 04, 2009

To bottomless perdition, there to dwell

Just to give you something to do until I find time to write something, here is a little competition.
My dear friend Max has just described "Paradise Lost" as an "infernal portfolio of wank". And there were y'all thinking that today's students have no grasp of literary criticism. Can any of you provide a similar brief assessment of a major work of art?
I have never read any of Milton, so I cannot judge how accurate Max is. Similar ignorance will be the criterion by which I judge your efforts.

16 comments:

I, Like The View said...

this might require me to do some research. . .

. . .major work of art you say?

garfer said...

'War and Peace' by that beardy windbag Tolstoy. A load of waffly old bollocks that goes on longer than the Bible.

Richard said...

WhenI was 18 I borrowed Ulysses from the library and took it on a school skiing trip to Italy. We were sixth formers and allowed to use the bar facilities. I was, in a stream of unconsciousness, heroically sick over it. Does this count?

WV - flamami. Molly Bloom running away from vomit.

Vicus Scurra said...

ILTV. Yes, that's what I say. Anything from the Solar System to the tattoo on your bum, and anything else creative in between. Like Dave's Blog.
Garfer. A tad verbose, but I know what you mean. Although the Bible is in need of a sequel. Will he come back? Will the meek inherit etc.?

Vicus Scurra said...

Richard. yes it counts, but is not as succinct as Max was. Over on facebook, however, he is quite enjoying "The Faerie Queen", so might be a bit too smart for us.

Richard said...

Mine suffers from having to be described; in reality no actual words were used.

Rol said...

Jude The Obscure... another fetid gust of wretched, unrelenting misery from the rear orifice of the original, undefeated pope of mope.

Can I do Dickens next?

Kindness said...

Ok... my blog... a piece of shit... oh wait... you said a major work of art. Nevermind.

Arabella said...

Oh but Paradise Lost is good. Really. Perhaps he meant Samson Agonistes - one of the earliest '2 for the price of one' book offers?

All I remember of The Faerie Queen is the gruesome red vagina/cave symbolism.
Ulysses: wankety-wank-wank and Dorothy Richardson did it before and better.

MJ said...

Can any of you provide a similar brief assessment of a major work of art?

No.

Now where's my prize?

Vicus Scurra said...

Rol. It would have been funnier if you'd said "Can I do Jane Eyre next?", but a brilliant attempt nevertheless.
Kindness. Are you fishing for compliments?
Arabella. Yes, I think wankety-wank-wank sums up that particular piece quite nicely.
MJ. In the wash.

Tim Footman said...

Maurice, by EM Forster, is, as the young persons put it, utterly gay.

Vicus Scurra said...

Tim. Young people of your acquaintance may have said that said tome was "like utterly gay", but those that I know are of the view that it is a sensitive and courageous attempt to battle prejudice and revitalise fiction.

Dave said...

'Kaliyuga Kronicles': Tedious, ungrammatical, unoriginal and tasteless crap.

I plagiarised that review.

Rog said...

Christopher Isherwood's 'I am a Camera'.

Me no Leica.

Adam said...

I realize that I am a bit late to the party, but I have always said that reading the written version of "Waiting for Godot" was the literary equivalent of watching the test panel for two hours.