Friday, March 06, 2009

You know the one - Geoff Robinson's crooked mate


The young lady depicted above is the delightful Leila Deen. This is not a treatise about young ladies in handcuffs, or bondage, or any other pursuit best carried out in private. Those in search of such titillation may find other places on the electric internet that cater for their curiosity, although I find it hard to believe that there are many. This is a salute to the workings of democracy and Ms Deen’s attempts to pursue said workings.

This morning lovely Leila threw some green custard over Peter Mandelson. For those of you unfortunate enough not to be of the British persuasion may not know about old Pete. He is an unelected member of the government, currently Minister for being an odious little tit with no principles and devoid of standards, to give him his full title. He is also a member of the House of Lords – Lord Shitpisswankfuckcunt of Bollocks is his title there, I believe. I cannot, of course, condone the throwing of custard, unless it was entirely vegan; there are more effective methods of overthrowing the lickspittles who run this country, but most of them involve armed insurrection, and I don’t want to get hurt.

Leila is no stranger to political process, but does not get all of the publicity that she deserves, largely because her sympathies are often at odds with those of her majesty’s press. 

This morning she was on the electric radio. “The only thing green about Mandelson is the slime coursing through his veins”, she said. I doubt whether this was a comment made up off the cuff (cuff – geddit?), but I was enchanted by it. It set the slime that is in my veins racing, and warmed the outer edges of my heart.

If any of you are friends with Leila, let her know that I would like to become her adoptive uncle. In case any of the perverts made it past the second paragraph, I should be clear that the relationship I have in mind involves no commitment whatever on either side, other than my right to say “that is my niece, you know” when she is hauled off to the Tower.

13 comments:

Dave said...

We have a long history of this sort of political protest. Was not an egg once thrown at the deputy PM? (I believe a fist may have been thrown in reply.) Flour was memorably tossed at Mr Bliar.

Have apples ever been thrown at a politician? We could have a nice pie and custard cabinet.

Let the nation arise, armed with vegetables.

I, Like The View said...

I thought it was a shame that she only managed to toss a coffee cup's worth of whatever it was over him - very accurante aim tho

what was wonderful tho was how nobody in the Mandelson entourage seemed to know what to do, so she had the full attention of the press for a while

Rog said...

I think she should be taken into custardy.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. Please do not waste all of your garden produce in this protest.
ILTV. She's very good at getting media attention, even though they don't want to give her any.
Rog. I am so glad that you said that. Others would say that it was the sort of corny pun that has no place in modern society, but you will find no such discouragement here.

Arabella said...

Bring on the custard pies. Wonderful. More of this please, Britain and then it might catch on over here.

KAZ said...

Why do I get the feeling that Mandelson would just love those handcuffs?
Though I’m sure he would prefer them on a Leo rather than a Leila.

MJ said...

Here in Canada we like to pie our politicians.

Richard said...

Bloody hopeless woman. She should have left it in the tin and thrown it harder.

Donn Coppens said...

It would appear that Lord Sh*tpisswankf*ckc*nt of Bollocks got what he deserved.

Is there any chance that the comely Leila Deen might run for office? I find myself invigorated in my swimsuit area by her mischievous smile..maybe it's the cuffs.

Here in the Colonies, we refrain from political protests because King Jean Poutine of Cretin started the grand tradition of personally strangling members of the great unwashed.

Not to mention the fear of receiving 50,000 volts of swift retribution by Taser-happy Mounties who are always standing nearby eating doughnuts.

Zed said...

I think that she's a twit of the highest order. Blair also had tomatoes thrown at him and still continued to smile insanely.

That Leila woman is plain stupid. Tell me, dearest Vicus, just what has she managed to do apart from get publicity? Nada.

The run-way goes ahead, dunnit.

Vicus Scurra said...

Yes, Zed, you are completely right. We should all just give up and let them shit all over us, complaining is so tiring isn't it?
I wish that Mandela twat had stayed in jail - why did anyone bother to get him out? He's all over everywhere now, isn't he? And bloody Gandhi? Could have done with a bloody good steak and kidney pie to fatten himself up a bit. Martin Luther King? What did he want to mix with white folks for? We're clearly not meant to get on. And no, I am not comparing Leila Deen to these people, just making a point.

Adam said...

Ah, this reminds me of the time I blogged about someone throwing salad dressing at Pat Buchanan, complete with a "NEWMAN'S OWNED" photoshop. Good times. Good times.

And of course, we all know that the political projectile of choice in Iraq is shoes. That is, when it isn't hand grenades.

Henry Sona said...

Delicious, sticky, staining custard - we don't fuck about with shoes here.