Then I thought, bollocks, I will follow the example of my dear friend Rog, who found this well of wisdom on his own and didn't need it to be approved by the New Statesman.
I have one also, although most of you will have heard mine.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are out riding one day when Tonto dismounts (No, it's not that sort of story, Dave, you can use this one in your next sermon) and puts his ear to the ground.
"How can you tell?"
Thank you. I am here all week.