Thank you, and welcome – anyone know the Japanese for welcome? – to the person from Japan who came here looking for a “St.Tropez Jean-Claude Van Damme” on msn, where I am deemed to be the leading authority.
I was worried, for a moment, that the secret of my absence these seven days had been discovered. I have been vacationing in St Tropez, with Mr Van Damme, Colonel Gaddaffi, Miriam Stoppard, Kevin Keegan, Lata Mangeshkar, Wayne Sleep and Peter Mandelson. I hope that is sufficient explanation. I am not at liberty to discuss scuba diving equipment or plum based confectionery in regard to this sojourn.