Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dr Queer, Medicine Woman

First, in answer to Dave, who enquires as to the state of my current incarnation, may I clarify that I am alive, to the best of my knowledge, and you can get on your bike and stop touting for business round here. I am in negotiation with several distinguished figures with regard to the business of the conducting of my funeral, and you are not among them, old son. At present, Alexei tells me that he is concentrating on his writing career, Tom Graveney fears that I might outlive him and Goldie Hawn has some qualms about the costume that I had designed for her. I will keep you in touch.

This afternoon I saw a DVD for sale that, due to a misplaced price sticker, was called "Little Ho on the Prairie". The infiltration of realism into the saccharine cak that constitutes mainstream television programming is well overdue. I am hoping for gratuitous sex and violence in every episode. How much better Coronation Street would have been had Ena Sharples tied up Elsie Tanner, whipped her with a chain and shot her through the head, as the main character in the latest episode of "The Shield" did to a chap who had upset him slightly. It would have given us a much better idea of urban Lancashire life.

6 comments:

Reg Pither said...

I once wrote a story - it probably missed Sky and the national media - about a woman who won £150,000 at bingo. She told me that she had been in such financial trouble that she had prayed she would win before going to the session. I inisted the subs headlined the story "Little Prayer on the Housey Housey"......but they refused. Happy days.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

Watch Eastenders. A slice of authentic London life: murder, blackmail, adultery and dognapping. All human life is there.

Kindness said...

You know... I am never quite sure what you are writing about... being a simple mind... but I laugh anyway and keep coming back for more...

Dave said...

Was this well worth waiting for? Let the reader decide.

Vicus Scurra said...

Reg. I know of such disappointment. It is our lot to be unrecognised in this life. Future generations will know better.

Daphne. Yes.

Kindness. Do you think that your lack of understanding distinguishes you from other visitors? You will always be special to me, however.

Dave. Yes.

goldie said...

a little wisp of gossamer and 2 sequins doth not a costume make.

I think I've told you this before.