Thursday, July 19, 2007

Message from Ithaca

I was delighted to read a message in my guest book this morning from a lady in the USA called Penelope who added the following message after finding my family history pages.

I'm studying old Leicestershire Docs
(Not books but surgeons, Apothec.s)
Amongst those learned gentlemen
Is a Beasley, first name John
Born 1786 - and note
His place of birth is Kimcote!
His wife Mary and he
Produced (so far) but children three:
And Anne Sophia married, what's more,
One John Sleath Beasley in 1864.

Might this possibly cousinly engagement
Warrant a place in your family history enpagement?

I wish that some of my readers here were able to compose such pleasant and clever messages. Some of you have been visiting for some time and show no sign of improvement.

I replied:

My dear new friend Penny Lope
Your lovely message gives me hope
My marvellous Penelope
For you and for humanity
If only other folk
Would use such verse in my guest boke
I would smile beatifically
In memory of Penelope.

In my ancient family tree
I have found John Sleath Beasley
But did not know about young Anne,
I will add her when I can.
Two Beasleys marrying may seem odd
Perhaps our John (incestuous sod)
Could not find love outside the clan
And had to settle for dearest Anne.

I hope their kids, if they had any,
Had ten fingers and not too many
And were not silly in the head
As can be the case when kinfolk wed.

It's strange to find a doc relation
A quite unique and odd sensation
My forebears were not rich or famed
And their kinfolk should not be blamed
For poverty and lack of glory
None will tell their lowly story
Until into this family came
One who was truly born to fame
My chronicle will last for years
And bring joy to all those ears
Who hear of my ingenuity
Or not, as, perhaps, the case may be.

So thanks, Penelope, and if you find
More stories of this kind
About the Beasleys or a Sleath
Who cured the ill or pulled some teeth
Let me know I will be joyous
To learn of cousins, (girls or boyous).
And I will always hold you dear
For telling me of Anne Sophia.


Dave said...

Well, I'm prepared to nominate
You, as next poet laureat.
If only you learnt
That poems don't rhyme these days.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, thank you for your little verse
I have heard some that were even worse
I see myself more Keats than Motion
Did you have a good Andrew today?

Geoff said...

Are John and Mary still trying for a fourth?

I'm going to put you forward for the new series of Who Do You Think You Are? You'll have to spend a week in Leicester, though.

Murph said...

This Family History is not always a lark son,
You might discover you're related to Jeremy Clarkson.

Hoosier said...

A post with everything; high literature and a sex scandal.

If you choose to lose about 70 IQ points, you could run for US elected office ;)

Vicus Scurra said...

Geoff, please be discreet about John and Mary. They do not enquire about your procreative activities. I am in a sister programme - "Who the fuck does he think he is".

As a hobby it's as good as any other
I found that Lloyd George knew my mother.

Keep in touch my dearest Hoosier
You may be a cousin, I'd hate to loseyer.

Anyone with a good clerihew?

Betty said...

I think your verse would be lovely set to music. Here's hoping you perform it on YouTube, playing the lute and wearing doublet and hose.

Richard said...

Mr Vicus Scurra,
Of somewhere in Hampsha,
Wants us to comment in rhyme,
Oh, sod it, I'm right out of time.

Library's closing.

I, like the view said...

I'm related to Robert Frost
who wrote The Road Not Taken
I have discovered to my cost
that sometimes a map helps

Kindness said...

George Bush is a twat
A genius? He's not
But he is loyal
To unrefined oil

Kindness said...

And Tony Blair...
Just to be fair
Was such a fool
To be Bush's tool

Reg Pither said...

Boke!!! Boyous!!!!! Dear God!

As poetry goes, I have to say,
If you try you hand, it will not pay.
You're words don't last but simply fester,
That's your fault for coming from Leicester.

Vicus Scurra said...

Despite your attempts to deride the quality of my poetry, you are all fairly crap, apart from Reg, who is completely crap.

Reg Pither said...

Sticks and stones may break my bones.
You may scoff and be deriding.
But the fact remains,
You are to prose,
What Big Daddy was to hang gliding.

P.S. I coming down your way next month - fancy a dry sherry or two?

zoe said...

now vicus sees himself as keats,
the pompous git from hampshire.
it's time for us to take our seats
and find a last line for this crap.

Rol Hirst said...


too embarrassed to say! said...

I can’t think of what to say
Does that mean that I can’t play
With all you very clever clogs
who rhyme when commenting on blogs?

I’ll will do the best for me
To complement the quality
And say my dear Sid Vicus
I think you are quite delicious

john.g. said...

Hi, Viscus, found you from Zoe's blog.

A coincidence,
an incidence,
I'm 4 miles from Kimcote,
not a place of note.

zoe said...

oh my god,dear john.g,
you've found this dump via me,
i'll buy you a pint as soon as poss
although it may be at keith's cost.


john.g. said...

Zoe, that'll be the day,
for you to say,
these are on me,
and so,you see,
I'm nicking Viscus' site, and the bastard wasn't going to rhyme anyway.........POOH!!

Pamela said...

It's nice that you're making friends. I'm ever so happy for you.

Reg Pither said...

I tried to reply to your text.
All it did was to make me more vexed.
Your e-mail don't work,
I feel like a berk.
This problem has left me perplexed.

There's an address on my blog I supply.
If you give that a go I'll reply.
In the absence of that,
I'll feel like a prat,
So please have a go and comply.

In the meantime I really must say,
This twee bollocks is frighteningly gay.
It's the last time I'll rhyme.
It's just poetry crime.
And sickens me in a big way!

dinahmow said...

I only called in now and then
But I def'nitely shant come again
The writing,while florid
Is really quite horrid
Like a stagnant and vile smelling Fen

(But it does amuse!)

I, like the view said...

I'm blogging from the South of France
and just popped in to take a chance
on catching up with what's going on
but I can see that I was wrong. . .

to finish I'll add the sun is shining
but for you, dear sweet vicus, I am pining


broomhilda said...

My Dear Vicus,

I adored your poem so much...I could just puke.

Leave the poetry to the professionals and go back to doing what you do best - bullshitting!

tom909 said...

I only know one fucing poem and i can't remember that.

tom909 said...

and before you say it, that's fucing chaucerian ok.

granny p said...

Hope Sophia did rhyme with 'dear'. If she didn't come to think of it, you'll fit with guy who said poems didn't rhyme these days... so you'll win either way as ever, dear VS.