Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Bozza up and running

It had been some time since Boris had used public transport, and was puzzled to find that there were now conductors on the underground. WPC Golightly tried hard to suppress her delight - she had bet £10 that PC Williams would break at least 2 of Boris's fingers.


*****

The Torygraph reports that Boris is taking advice from the LA Police Commissioner on how to cut down on crime. Excellent! No doubt he will be taking advice from the mayor of Delhi on how to cut down on poverty and homelessness, the mayor of Mexico City on how to reduce pollution and the mayor of Tehran about equal opportunities.

8 comments:

john.g. said...

First!!

He can't do any worse than red 'congestion- tax -the- fuck- out- of- everyone' Ken!

£75 quid to park you car? The engine isn't even running!

Glad I don't live in Londoom!

Saving the planet my arse!

Vicus Scurra said...

John G. Much as your are loved and welcomed here, I think you have stumbled in thinking that your freedom to do what you like with internal combustion engines is a right guaranteed in Genesis, the Acts of the Apostles, the Koran, the Torah, the Gita and "The wit and wisdom of Alec Douglas Home". One of Mr Livingstone's faults was to be too lenient with motorists.

Richard said...

That picture deserves a caption competition.

"Crikey, you're er...tall."

KAZ said...

PC Williams is saying - 'So who were you calling a piccaninny?'.. before breaking both his legs.

Donn said...

HA!
On his first encounter with some of the native inhabitants Boris nervously blurted out..

"JAMBO, HABARI GANI?
took in a little Swahili back in Eton you know? You may address me as Bwana Boris or Lord Screaming Sutch.

I say my good man, would you by any chance be the operator of this vessel? Would you be so kind as to drop me off in front of my secretary's flat?"

Geoff said...

Bob Crow suggested Boris should politely ask Liverpool fans to stop drinking on the tube next time they're in London. Seeing as he has made so many friends in Liverpool.

He's hit the ground running hasn't he? Nobody's ever going to drink on public transport again and the transport unions are going to sign away the right to withdraw their labour.

dinahmow said...

He looks a bit like a young Ted Heath, doesn't he? Or am I just so old I remember?
And 10,000 miles away, our tv news had a shot-to-camera of Boris' pater saying the lad hadn't had a drink for 3 months.

raincoaster.com said...

Yes, I believe that. Because he was clearly desperate when he made his acceptance speech, which was primarily about the fact that everyone should go get shitfaced.

Well, he knew he could count on my support for one policy at least.