Sunday, January 03, 2010

Scientific discoveries of the decade. Chapter 4

Are you all keeping up?
Colin Pillinger Professor of planetary science at the Open University is excited about the discovery of ice on the moon, and the prospect of an astronaut base there. Yes, boys and girls, another corner of the universe that mankind can go and befoul. I don’t rate the ice’s chances of survival. If we (the species, you fool – my readers and I will be lucky to get past Thursday) survive the next century then the news will be full of the threat of lunar warming.

Charlie Burton, who is only a journalist and not an academic, but he probably tries hard, champions the cause of wireless power transfer. He says “meaning that inconvenient clutter, such as mobile-phone chargers, will soon be a thing of the past”. Oh goody. This means that the owners of cellular telephones will never have to go home, and can entertain us all with their conversations – 24/7 as annoying people like that say.

Roger Highfield is another journalist, and I can barely follow the reasons for his being excited. The clue may be in the surname, but perhaps I am being uncharacteristically cynical. He thinks that the discovery of “Homo floresiensis” is important. This refers to a bunch of remains of creatures now extinct who lived 18,000 years ago. Dave is nearly that old, and still with us, but does he get that kind of recognition? Most unfair.

Vicus Scurra, head of applied obfuscation at North East Hampshire Faculty of Physics Deniers heralded the discovery that you don’t have to review the rest of the contributions in this particular offering from the Torygraph. Apparently, it gets even more boring and is filled with similar piffle.

6 comments:

Dave said...

I am living proof of the longevity of teetotallers.

tom909 said...

See, this is the problem with getting old - you see so many of these unbelievably life changing developments that in the end change nothing. It does tend to make even the most generous amongst us, just a wee bit cynical.

I, Like The View said...

sorry, what were you saying? I was distracted by thinking about having a snog

zIggI said...

I quite like piffle especially with a lightly simmering scurra.

I can hardly wait for chapter 5.

Donnw/2nz said...

If you believe
they put a man on the moon
(man on the moooon)

Personally I never believed the song about Andy (vun smoll stap)Kaufman jumping around the moon...nevermind there being frozen water.
Everyone knows that the whole thing was taped on a soundstage in Houston.

Z said...

You're not that old, Dave. It only seems like it to a teetotaller.

Good idea, ILTV, I think I'll go and wake the Sage.