Thursday, December 15, 2011


It is the time of year where people are wont to say to me (not just me, you fool) “Are you ready for Christmas?” I remain unsure as to how to respond. Sadly, I am never ready for Christmas. Each year the contrived atmosphere of jollity affects me less, and I begin to suspect that I am some alien species from the planet WTF, being punished for some undefined crime by witnessing the ridiculous antics of the native species here.

No, I am not fucking ready for the constant repetition of the same crap dirges each time I call into Sainsburys for my supply of horse tranquilizer that I find a necessity at this time of year.

No, I will never be sodding ready for the word ‘Christmas’ being used twice in every sentence on the electric television.

No, I am buggered if I am ready to even add any more examples of stuff for which I am not ready.


On a more cheering note, perspicacious readers will have noticed that our old friend Wackford Gove has been told off, with a warning of a detention if it happens again, if he continues to use and encourage the use of by his staff, private emails as a medium for communicating government related business. 
“P-r-o pro s-e-e-d seed y-o-u-r your proseedyour –noun insubstantive  - follow it”.


Z said...

If you intend to make no preparations at all, surely you are ready for Christmas?

Dave said...

Why does your horse get so excited at this time of year?

Vicus Scurra said...

Z. This is a very interesting argument, which I intend to fully ignore.
Dave. The prospect of being turned out of his stable in order to accommodate some travelers does not lie well with him.

Dave said...

I nearly lolled. Or whatever it is the young people do.

Scarlet Blue said...

Happy Christmas!!!
Where's the mistletoe?

the OMG particle said...

"bored balls"???

ho ho ho!!

baa humbug to you too