Friday, December 30, 2011

Yes, I could have done better


I was delighted to find this little note in my inbox today.

I hear via the grapevine that you're getting (or got ) married recently.  Whenever  your name is mentioned my thoughts go back to your stupendous fruit salad marathon at dan's 21st - a long time ago already !
All my best wishes and love to you and your bride for a stupendous fruit salad filled future !
Love and hugs, audrey and barbara.

Here is my reply:

Auds! Babs!
How great to hear from you.
Loved the “grape”vine pun, by the way – I looked for more, perhaps you should get a punnet to store them in! Lol!!!!
Yes, I got married recently – 29 years come February, and I am giving it a go – if it hasn’t worked out by 2042 I’m out of here – I will have to sneak out, as I can’t elope (cantaloupe – geddit?)
How is Dan? I haven’t seen him for ages – what did he do for his 22nd?
Yes, it was a long time ago – round about the time that Dan turned 21, if I remember correctly.
It may have started to occur to you by now that you sent your email to the wrong guy. But, hell, I need all the friends I can get. I shall be over to stay for a couple of months in the new year – please don’t go to any trouble, my needs are few, I can live on mostly fruit.
And, to be fair to myself, I usually write more articulately and less like a moron than this, but hey, if people can’t get the email address right, why should I demonstrate my rich and unique prose?

Now, were any of you at Dan's 21st, and do you know what he did with the satsuma?

9 comments:

Adam said...

They should be glad that it went to you. Orange they happy it didn't go to a real app-hole?

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you for sinking to my level, Adam, it is not so lonely down here now.

Z said...

You're such a sweetie, Vicus. I trust you haven't made that kind pear of well-wishers meloncholy.

Dave said...

I find I am unable to contribute fruitfully.

WV, though, is PARDRE, which seems to be calling out for me to post something.

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you Z and Dave. This must be the low point of my literary career. Fruit puns. It will be fish puns next. Then I will be warm up act to Michael McIntyre.

Z said...

Low point of your literary career? If you say so, dear heart.

Tim Footman said...

I laughed at the punnet bit. Slightly.

Vicus Scurra said...

Z and Tim. Are you two mutual friends of Bildad, perchance?

janeki said...

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