Friday, December 30, 2011

Yes, I could have done better

I was delighted to find this little note in my inbox today.

I hear via the grapevine that you're getting (or got ) married recently.  Whenever  your name is mentioned my thoughts go back to your stupendous fruit salad marathon at dan's 21st - a long time ago already !
All my best wishes and love to you and your bride for a stupendous fruit salad filled future !
Love and hugs, audrey and barbara.

Here is my reply:

Auds! Babs!
How great to hear from you.
Loved the “grape”vine pun, by the way – I looked for more, perhaps you should get a punnet to store them in! Lol!!!!
Yes, I got married recently – 29 years come February, and I am giving it a go – if it hasn’t worked out by 2042 I’m out of here – I will have to sneak out, as I can’t elope (cantaloupe – geddit?)
How is Dan? I haven’t seen him for ages – what did he do for his 22nd?
Yes, it was a long time ago – round about the time that Dan turned 21, if I remember correctly.
It may have started to occur to you by now that you sent your email to the wrong guy. But, hell, I need all the friends I can get. I shall be over to stay for a couple of months in the new year – please don’t go to any trouble, my needs are few, I can live on mostly fruit.
And, to be fair to myself, I usually write more articulately and less like a moron than this, but hey, if people can’t get the email address right, why should I demonstrate my rich and unique prose?

Now, were any of you at Dan's 21st, and do you know what he did with the satsuma?


Adam said...

They should be glad that it went to you. Orange they happy it didn't go to a real app-hole?

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you for sinking to my level, Adam, it is not so lonely down here now.

Z said...

You're such a sweetie, Vicus. I trust you haven't made that kind pear of well-wishers meloncholy.

Dave said...

I find I am unable to contribute fruitfully.

WV, though, is PARDRE, which seems to be calling out for me to post something.

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you Z and Dave. This must be the low point of my literary career. Fruit puns. It will be fish puns next. Then I will be warm up act to Michael McIntyre.

Z said...

Low point of your literary career? If you say so, dear heart.

Tim Footman said...

I laughed at the punnet bit. Slightly.

Vicus Scurra said...

Z and Tim. Are you two mutual friends of Bildad, perchance?