Tuesday, December 06, 2011

I am not a street fighting man - I'm out of here.

I was somewhat taken aback this morning to read in the Grauniad the headline reporting: “Williams: riots could happen again”.

The Williams in question is Rowan of that ilk, not Robbie or his sister Venus.

I am alarmed that the head of the church is threatening insurrection. I cannot recall this happening before. The establishment does not take kindly to the clergy interfering in matters temporal, as poor old Tommy Becket discovered. In my view, we haven’t had a decent ab of C since Sigeric the serious. Perhaps Dave might consider a move in the January transfer window.

I hope Rowan has not been inspired by my post yesterday. He ought to know I was not being entirely serious. I thought he was one of these modern clerics who did not take the scriptures literally. I see I shall have to be more circumspect.

I am fearful for the survival of our society. I do not know how I would survive were they to stop broadcasting “Have I Got News For You”.


The scientific community are showing signs of excitement about the discovery of the exoplanet (what that? Ed.) Kepler 22-b, which has all the signs of being able to support life. They say it is quite close by – 600 light years, but I can’t find it on the North East Hampshire bus timetable, so probably won’t make the effort of visiting, at least until the new year.

I haven’t read all of the articles, but so far haven’t found any mention of the implications of Kepler being 2.4 times the size of the earth. Unless they have more sensible scientists than ours who have abolished the law of gravity, I would have thought that the probability is that Kepler has therefore 2.4 times the mass of the earth, and therefore moving about on it would be quite tiring. This appeals to me, on balance. “Sorry, won’t be at work today, I find I that I can’t get out of my chair”.

Please let me know if any of you see a list of for volunteers to join the first trip. It behoves me to present any existing inhabitants with the friendlier face of humanity. I will do my best to make sure that all members of the party are carefully vetted. We have all seen the results of letting a bunch of psychotic god-botherers loose on new colonies, after all.


Dave said...

The good news that it is apparently possible to travel faster than the speed of light means that we could organise a charabanc trip there for the new year. I believe a Mr J Clarkson is interested in the post of driver, and Mr B Johnson has offered to collect the tickets. I'll put your name down, shall I?

(Thanks for offering me the post of AB of C, but I don't like the dress.)

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. Very ribald.

Z said...

It has to be admitted, there was some plotting going on after the Christingle service last night. Expect some high jinks as soon as Advent is over.

Geoff said...

I think Williams wants another crack at getting one of those 3D tellies. Songs of Praise really comes alive in 3D.

Scarlet Blue said...

More gravity might be a good thing... and it would make fireworks night more interesting.

Scarlet Blue said...

...and extra gravity would also make illegal lifts less likely in Strictly Come Dancing...

Vicus Scurra said...

Z. I am at an age where I need my jinks to be lowered.
Geoff. You just live for danger, don't you?
Scarlet. I have no idea what Strictly Come Dancing is.