I feel that it is time, in response to requests from readers (AMToNW), for me to join the great intelligent design/evolution debate.
It will come as no great surprise that I have to side with the intelligent design team, as the evidence is there in the scriptures.
Yes, folks, the internet was created by God, in His Infinite Wisdom, as a tool for his children to idle away their time in trivial pleasure. It is not an evolving method of accumulating information so that we can all share in the sum total of human knowledge. Such a project is doomed to failure, and well beyond the scope of humanity.
Genesis has this to say about the web thingy.
v25 And God thought a bit, and decided that He had been a tad hasty.
v26 “Look Adam, old mate, if you two silly buggers come along when I’m sitting down to watch Neighbours, particularly the episode where Marlene and Charlene find out about what Darlene has been up to, then you must expect me to get a bit cross”.
v27 “It’s not much blinking fun spending all that time creating matter and light and water and herbs and all that shit, then having your first day off for a week fucked up by some daft tart chewing apples.”
v28 “But I am a kind and loving God, and wouldn’t want you to think that I am vindictive, so I’ll buy you a computer, and help you get on-line”.
v29 So Adam popped down to Nod Computers and picked up a W487 with free games pack, and before you could build an ark, he had signed up with an ISP and started his blog. Like the rest of us, no bugger read it, but at least he had the excuse that at that time there were no other buggers to read it.
v30 And Adam spent his days happily surfing, ogling scantily clad women, checking the batting averages at Cricinfo and checking out the news from Kingsley.
v31 You see, it was all there already. Created by the infinite kindness of the Lord, not evolved and improving over the years. Before Cain and Abel were born, it was still impossible to download a Paris Hilton video without infecting your Space Invaders game with a virus.
v32 And Eve was sore afflicted. “Adam are you going to get off your fat arse and away from that sodding computer, you twassock, and help me with the pigging ironing, or do you want your fucking dinner wrapped round your fucking neck?”
If that little contribution does not bring the religious bigots over here in their droves next time that they visit Mr & Mrs Google’s home page, then I don’t know what will. See you in Hell.