Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Request for assistance

Amongst my catholic reading habits (I like anything by the Pope, [thanks Alexei]), is a bias in favour of thrillers/detective stories or whatever.

I have read most of the works of Ms Patricia Cornwell. I am not sure how good a writer she is, she is very popular which does not mean a lot, but I cannot say that I look forward to reading her work any more than many other producers of fiction of that genre.

I have nothing against her being a proponent of lesbianism. Some may say that there is not enough graphic lesbian action in her books, but I am getting on a bit and prefer to read about gratuitous violence these days.

I can forgive her writing about dull Italian recipes. If her heroine chooses to grate parmesan while the killer creeps up behind her, then I will not quibble much, although given my druthers, I would opt for my meal being prepared in a more tranquil and mellow atmosphere.

I can even forgive her for using the ridiculous expression “high rate of speed”. Perhaps. Actually, no I can’t. If she uses the language like that, and identifies with her heroine, then I am on the side of the machete-wielding maniac who slices through her aubergines, as she slices through her aubergines.

However, what is truly inexcusable is the plot repetition, which, in every book of hers that I can recall, includes a finale in which the killer - who the heroine and her highly trained professional police detectives have failed to detect and stop from killing – breaks into the her house and tries to kill her. Despite having eliminated countless other defenceless victims with no problem throughout the tale, a middle aged unarmed woman proves to be too much. Don’t they offer courses in American high schools for serial killers? I find it difficult to believe such inefficiency in the execution of what is virtually the nation’s favourite pastime.

I have to say that if the current tome upon which I am just starting finishes in the same way as the rest, then I will be more than a little annoyed. Caroline, there may be insufficient prunes in North East Hampshire to assuage my ire.


Geoff said...

Ah, those schools for serial killers: a sign on the door to every classroom - 'Silence, Little Lambs'.

And the things they do with papier mache!

tom909 said...

I'm not really into reading books so I can't really comment on the literary stuff, but myself I don't have any problems with lesbians - I've got loads of photos of them upstairs.

Vicus Scurra said...

Chapter 27 paragraph 6
"Vigorous rate of speed".
Illiterate cretin.

Son of Groucho said...

She has fooled millions with her repetitious formula, but not your good self Mr Scurra.

By the way, Mr Burns sends his love!