May I suggest that you start your day by doing something uplifting and inspiring?
- Fling open your windows and inhale the fresh air.
- Thank the creator for another day of human life.
- Enjoy a hearty breakfast of freshly squeezed raspberry juice and green lentil pancakes.
- If you are of an athletic disposition, try a few minutes of vigorous masturbation.
Do NOT do as I did and check your RSS feeds for news.
This morning’s depressing items include.
- The release on bail of Pinochet.
- The retirement from international rugby of Tana Umaga, which will diminish the quality of play in the next world cup, and possibly reduce the amount of time that paramedics spend on the field also.
- Adam has added to his journal.
9 comments:
You need to change your RSS feed. Mine, on the other hand, included items such as Rotting Fish Tackled by Firesquirters. Much more edifying.
Yes, my RSS gives me updates on your lovely site, Merkin, so maybe I should change it.
I have been getting visitors coming here having searched for the term "masturbation" in various search engines.
To them I say this:
If you can see well enough to search for masturbation, you are not doing it enough.
What if you sleep in a dormitory?
The others might not want the windows open.
But they wouldn't mind sharing with a god-bothering, vegetarian wanker?
Yeah, tara Tana. You'll be missed. But not much by St John's..
Your last comment sounds very like my school. Happy days.
Thank you, Caroline, for that interesting picture you just put in my mind...
The obvious solution is not to be in Scotland, and therefore you will not have to leave it. I suspect I may be missing something.
losnj - something to suck to prevent cold symptons in the vicinity of New York.
Yeah? What about New Zealand Simon?
A-hoist one o' the wee thingies on each o' yer shoulders and march tae the skirl o' the pipes all the way up the A1...
Please NB authentic Scottish vocabulary to set the right mood.
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