Moist, throb, inner thigh, engorged, thrust.

As it is the weekend, and everyone pretends to have no time for the internet, I thought I would sneak in a quick sports post, at least it will serve to cool down the ardour of the many frenetic females who hang out here (aMToNW).

After many years of wandering in the wilderness, it seems that there is an English slow bowler who may develop into world class. Apart from Derek Underwood, who was a slow bowler rather than a spinner, there have been none in my cricketing years. I never saw Jim Laker play. Monty Panesar seems to have the ability to bowl aggressive spin. I don’t remember seeing that in an England test team. My memories are of English spin bowling are clouded by that complete and utter twat Emburey, and various bit parts played by the woefully pathetic Tufnell, Croft, Edmonds and countless other underachievers. Panesar is accurate, he varies his delivery and he is able to spin the ball. I suspect that often he does not know what it is going to do. He is good to watch, unusual enough in a bowler. All of the current England batsmen are good to watch too, with the exception of Collingwood, and I don’t begrudge him his place in the team. So I have found another (lack of) activity which will cause my roots to embed themselves further into my couch as the long hot days of summer pass by. Regular readers (a Mrs Trellis of Silly Mid Off) will know that I do not pass the Tebbit test (and no, I will not, at this time, indulge my non-British fans be explaining that). I like to watch skilful players; however, in defence of the English cricket team who were criticised for their performances against Sri Lanka, I would point the critics towards today’s scorecard from South Africa. 624 for the third wicket, no less. Can I also put forward the name of Michael Holding as the filler of the void left by Richie Benaud.

I also took time to watch the Bledisloe cup game (see my previous Tebbit related comment). I thoroughly enjoyed it, despite being distracted by the whingeing Australian commentators. What a pair of big girl’s blouses. Then after the test match had finished on Sky there was a short film about Laker’s match in 1956. Some of the Australian players were interviewed. They are still whingeing 50 years later.

There, I don’t think there was anything slightly amusing in any of that, so I will have to try out Jack’s theory to see whether the title of the article attracts more readers than normal.

And I still might write about Fred Trueman at some stage.