Even in these dismal days of summer, when it is too hot to move and I am suffering from some sort of strange disease contracted in the
“Attempts to eradicate the toads have been largely unsuccessful, although scientists reported last year that they had managed to lure and trap the creatures using ultraviolet lights like those used in disco clubs.”
Yes, there we have it. I wish (not for the first time) that we had some Aussie visitors here. But perhaps some of you are familiar with nightlife in
I have never been an attendee at such institutions. From what I can gather they are so noisy and poorly lit that it is impossible to discern what your dancing partners are saying and what they look like. I suspect that many of you are thinking that that would be an ideal environment in which I could find myself a partner, but so far I have never been quite that desperate.
So, despite my lack of first hand experience, I would urge caution. It may be at the end of the evening that you find that the attractive young lady with whom you have been dancing, chatting and drinking, is slightly more amphibitorial than you had hoped.
Here are the signs you should look out for to help you make sure that your dancing partner is not an impostor:
- Deep voice.
- Bulging eyes.
- Poisonous glands on back.
Now, some of you might be unkind enough to suggest that the above criteria are insufficient to distinguish them from the typical Queensland Sheila. I would never stoop to such ethnic stereotypes, (unless I could be sure that I had some
Off you go now and check your marriage certificates. If your partner is named “Bufo Marinus” then you may have been deceived. Unless you are Tom. I understand that these creatures are prodigious breeders – right up your street.