Tuesday, September 05, 2006

They only have themselves to blame

My friends at LiveScience report that sperm have been killed when a fridge malfunctioned.

Firstly, anyone undertaking inappropriate activities in their fridge should not be surprised when difficulties occur.
Secondly, I cannot think why TCM consider it to be any of their business in reporting it on a so-called scientific web site.
Personally, I have little interest in this subject, but I am sure that my sex crazed readers, particularly Tom who had an unfortunate intimate incident involving a kitchen utensil, will find plenty to write about.

26 comments:

Pamela Troeppl said...

Oh Tom, say it isn't so!

tom909 said...

Pammy, my dearest, how I wish I could lie to you, but no, I cannot.
And Vicus, it is very lucky that we both weren't badly hurt on that fateful day. as it turns out the damage to me was fortunately only temporary, and how you got away without so much as a scratch I'll never know.

UnderCrackers said...

too many images

Cherrypie said...

You mean those stories of egg whisks were true? And I thought they were urban myths but it was you two all along.

ziggi said...

Ehh whisks eh? The manual ones with the little handle you whizz round or a little electric version?

Looks like we're losing the cricket - can't watch

- have we?

ziggi said...

EGG whisk ! typo caused by us getting a wicket - Akmal in and out! Is there hope?????

Vicus Scurra said...

Readers (aMToNW) should beware of taking Tom too seriously. Beware of geeks bearing whisks is, I believe, the apposite warning.
Ziggi - who is this 'we' of whom you speak. I wasn't playing this evening, I was watching quietly at home. I am often mistaken for hunky, baby-faced Stuart Broad, so you can be forgiven.

Richard said...

As they would say over at the Duck's place, post no good without images.

kuuzc: It's possible this was uttered on the day in question.

Pamela Troeppl said...

Tommy dearest, a whisk? Was it very painful? I'd offer to kiss it and make it better but then you'd think unkindly of me and we can't have that.

Vicus Scurra said...

This thread is getting silly.
Cherrypie was the one to mention whisks. Everyone else has made their own assumptions that this was the utensil in question.
I can neither confirm nor deny this; it is a matter of some embarrassment to Tom, and it is therefore incumbent on me to not provide details of a personal nature to the merely curious.
Pam, you had better be more specific about what you wish to kiss better. I do not mind, neither do I pass judgement on you, if you have desires and urges relating to whisks. The rest of humanity may not be so kind.

raincoaster said...

All I'm sayin' is, sometimes you don't need a refrigerator malfunction to kill sperm. A sharp look near closing time will generally do it.

Vicus Scurra said...

RC. I have known women like you.
I understand, even more now, why so much of Canada is uninhabited.

mxldga - refrigerant friendly to sperm.

tom909 said...

Pammy dearest, fear not, the damage was only temporary. My performance is still as good as it ever was. True, I have never satisfied Vicus but then not many have.

Bob said...

Why would anyone use a whisk in a fridge, surely the counter by the window would be more appropriate?

Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you, Bob, your perspicacity, which is a characteristic of we residents of north east Hampshire, is a much needed addition to this thread which had hitherto been the gathering place for the deranged.
I look forward to a series of 'kitchen klues' on your site soon.

Dave said...

Since my kitchen (along with the rest of the groundfloor of my house) was flooded, I now have a fridge in my bedroom.

Advise me, O man of the world, Will this help me (as they say) pull the birds?

Richard said...

Yesterday I was looking around the Blogger tags for my fellow local citizens capable enough to be able to hold their own here. Apart from the one I live with and the other one I know, most of the rest are the literal equivalent of hearing Sharon's mum cope with an answerphone ("What do I do now? Ted? She's talking to me but won't listen to me") (bless). Crewe would appear to be home of the permanently technologically baffled. Even the Citroen garage has shut down.

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave. I have read your blog. There are so, so many things with which you should concern yourself before the location of white goods, when it comes to your problems with 'pulling' as you so delicate express it.
Richard, you are quite right. When I lived in Crewe, the only sign of modern technology was the Belisha beacon that flashed outside my bedroom window in West Street.

tom909 said...

Well I'm sad to hear the citroen garage has shut down. But me being the person that I am, I won't let it get to me. I will struggle on against all the odds, and quite frankly Richard, that would be my advice to you too.
It's the receptionist that I will miss most though. I used to love going there for my MOT.

Pamela Troeppl said...

MOT? ....and this is code for....?

Vicus Scurra said...

Men On Top, Pamela, he is very old fashioned.
Minute or Two, Pamela, he is very uncaring.
Mug of Tea, Pamela, he enjoys the simple pleasures.

tom909 said...

Vicus, mind you don't cut yourself!

raincoaster said...

Dear god, is he into that as well?

Pamela Troeppl said...

Old fashioned is just fine with me.

Frontier Editor said...

I sit here, shaking my head (cranial) and wondering why no one bothered to make a refrigerator egg tray reference, or even a comment on the danger of reefers to sperm count?

fucnutp - what a cosmic choice of word verification!

tom909 said...

Pammy, you're driving me crazy!