Friday, September 15, 2006

Today is the birthday of our dear friend Dave. Pretty, vivacious and charismatic, he never fails to charm us. Let's all go over there and have some cake (make mine vegan and organic please).

Here is what I have already wished him:

According to my friends at the BBC, you share your birthday with the Sun 'newspaper'.

Being forever associated with an organ for the production of virulent and dubious stories, with poor writing style and the absence of morality must be a great source of embarrassment. But I spoke to Rupert this morning, and he said he could put up with it.

Dear sweet Zoe, by coincidence is also celebrating having a twat for five years. Go and read her lovely little story. Am I alone in being reminded of Barbara Cartland when I absorb her words?

Are there any more anniversaries today? Have any of you any poignant moments to share? Is the 40th anniversary of your being laughed at in the showers at school? Have any of you been constipated for a year, or 2, or 3? How many days is it since you stopped poncing about on the internet and had a proper conversation?

And as a further anniversary, our favourite rightwingidiot Adam, has added to his journal. He is surprisingly articulate. Thanks for not making it political Adam - not something we particularly want to argue about. I suppose that the summer working in Target has done more for his education than being at college.

And, finally, as if you had forgotten, it is the birthday of good old Harry. (or 'you daft cunt' as his friends and family refer to him).


Dave said...

It's also the 90th anniversary of the first use of tanks in battle. No doubt you remember this well.

It's also Battle of Britain Day, although we seem to forget that these days.

I've asked my friend the Cornish Rambler (link on the side bar, over at my place) to bake a special cake for you Vicus.

raincoaster said...

I thought for a minute you were telling us that Zoe was a transsexual.Although I wouldn't put it past you.

Vicus Scurra said...

Raincoaster, if you wish to draw inappropriate inferences from my expression of affection for Zoe then you are, of course, entitled to do so, but you will find no support from me in your attempt to damage her spotless reputation.

Dave said...

Fascinating that your post about cricket brought a host of responses from the ladies, whilst this one, centred on the birthday celebrations of a dashing, witty and above all single young man (yes, I do mean me) results in almost no comments.

Odd, life, isn't it?

Vicus Scurra said...

Dave, I am astonished and saddened. The only logical explanation is that they are intimidated by your virility and fear for their virginity should they encourage you in anyway. Those of us who know you well will vouch for your outstanding integrity and trustworthyness, that unfortunate episode at Cromer magistrates court notwithstanding.
I wonder what they expect me to write about? The public is fickle.

raincoaster said...

It's your cigar. It's just too small.

Steven_L said...

Hey Vicus,

I made a cricket blog for Ashes build-up and stabs at the aussies seen as I'm bored now the seasons ended

Fancy adding it to youyr blog roll?


Pamela said...

Any chance you'll be posting about Cricket again anytime soon?

Cherrypie said...

You should have said he was single sooner. I'd have been over there like a shot. In fact, I just have and he's only a year older than me. We may even have gone to school together but if he harped on about cricket as much then as he does now, I doubt I was even aware of his existence.

Sharon J said...

Celebrations are just a load of old tosh!

tom909 said...

Oh Sharon please. can't you just for once try to be some fun. Dave is a man of the cloth - one day a year he tries to let his hair down and in you wade with your size 10s.

Sharon J said...

I'll wade where I like and whatever mood I like, Thomas. You try stopping me and you might just end up with my size 10s (err... size 9s now, actually!!) up your jacksy!

Vicus Scurra said...

Excellent. It seems that Tom's greasy charm has failed to win over at least one of the ladies.
Sharon - have you ever shown any signs of discrimination before?

dglohh - sound of footwear being pulled painfully from rectum.