I was going to entertain you all with an analysis of a BBC news article about public transport. How you would have laughed. Not just lolled, but roffled, lmfaoed and bmsled. (I made the last one up).
But the BBC have done some retroactive proofreading, and changed the title of their quaint essay. It is about bio-diesel fuels, and the heading used to say something about passengers using their own fat. I was going to write about each bus having a driver and a surgeon on board. You would state your destination, and then have liposuction applied until there was sufficient fuel to reach your desired location. I was then going to explain that the headline did not really mean that, but that the scheme was that you could trade in used cooking oil on the bus as a discount against the fare. I would then have made some hilarious comments about measuring the oil, checking whether it was olive, sunflower, peanut or corn, and giving change in lumps of margarine. But they changed the headline, so I won’t do any of that now. Pity. It was going to be fucking hilarious.
8 comments:
Well your little holiday from blogging seems to have done you a power of good. Post after post pouring forth from your keyboard.
Now, if you could only think of something interesting to write about...
I think bmsl should be introduced to a wider audience so they can spend countless minutes on forums discussing exactly what it means and telling everyone they've been using it since they were on alt.news.shed in 1994. Grand idea. I'm bmsling as I think of it.
Knowing my luck they'd give me some middle-aged spread as change.
You would have had an instalanche blogstorm of roflmao's from your blaudience.
Pity.
Geoff, that was really funny!
I even LOLLED - and I've never done that before.
It was definitely better than the post.
I would have wanted to ask, had you written the fantastic post, if the BBC wankers hadn't up and changed that on you, whether my assfat would get me a bigger seat on the bus. I mean, I need one anyway, right?
It's quite a shame that they aren't allowing payment by human fat. I'm sure that Texas would have been able to fuel the rest of the country, if not the world, for at least another 500 years.
That is, however, assuming that you can get anyone in my country outside of a major city to ride a bus.
I would have really enjoyed reading that. Pity.
Post a Comment